Show him some love instead of whining
People are funny. Take this one for instance; she is here crying foul about how her husband is neglecting her and not even the bored expression on my face seems to communicate that all I really want her to do is shut up, so I can tell her about how wonderful my birthday was and how I was showered with so much love that I almost choked on it. (Too much of anything is bad, seriously).
From surprise spa treatment at Positive Emotions from a sweet friend, to an early wakeup call from Maryanne and John on the Great Morning show at Radio One, to cakes, wine dinners, money, beautiful photo collages, calls from people I hadn’t heard from in years and crooked voices calling to sing Happy birthday, to Facebook messages, so much so that at the end of the day, I swear I was nauseated. I didn’t want to hear the word happy birthday instead I wanted someone to be mean to me so as to take away some of the mushiness.
Instead, here I was listening to someone who claims to be suffering from acute attention deficiency.
“He doesn’t call me as much as he used to, doesn’t buy me presents. Those days he used to buy me a dress every month, now since the year began, I haven’t received even a hanky. He used to call me at work just to ask how my day was going; now all he calls to ask about is whether the beans are finished so he can buy more.”
She went on and on for such a long time that at some point all I could see was how long and pink her tongue is and how sharp her canine teeth seemed to be getting with each passing moment.
After what seemed like 10 hours although it was just 38 minutes, she stopped talking. So I figured it was my turn to show off my tongue and canines although I wasn’t quite sure what to tell her because she’s the married one, she should be the one counselling me on matters of the heart.
She made it easy though when I asked her how she loves her husband. By that I meant how did she show him that she loved and cared. Here is how my little speech went:
“You are so focused on what he is not doing anymore. What you should focus on is why he stopped. You just said he used to send you messages, call you just to say I miss you, buy you presents, and take you for dinner any chance he got. And it felt really good to be loved and wanted. You say he made you feel special even if we both know you are not. However, while he was busy loving you this way, what were you doing for him? Did you do anything regardless of size to make him feel as good as he was making you feel or did you think you have exclusive rights to being pleased or that you are the resident receiver of love and kindness while you give none at all? So you think you will just lie there and be taken to heaven while he slaves away to make it all happen?”
Newsflash, just as you love to be loved, pampered, treated with kindness and patience, he, too, would love some of that from you. Love and all relationships for that matter are investments, what you sow, you will reap. Get off your high boda and show him some love instead of just waiting to receive all the time. And now for this birthday love that is suffocating me, who wants some?
