After sharing tips on dealing with baby mama drama last week, I got to meet two women, Tonia and Celia who shared their different experiences about being in a relationship with step children and a baby mama. And trust me I will always have special respect for such women. These women take in so much. Living with divided attention and even for some, like these two, a constant fear of a possible rebound between their husband and baby mama is no mean feat. If you are in such a relationship and are seeing any of these red flags, it’s time to act.
1. He over visits baby mama. Much as it’s important for your man to get along with his children and their mama, he doesn’t have to spend all his free time at his ex’s house. Because then it’s understandable that in her situation she can’t be running up and down to bring the children to your house. But if he is spending nights over and creating opportunities to be at her house, be very scared.
2. Your opinion doesn’t matter. If he fights you every time you bring up your feelings about the situation or suggestions to reduce his time with baby mama, there is a problem. Why wouldn’t he want his children to freely mix and mingle with your own? And as their step mother don’t you also need to have a relationship with them?
3. He lies about his visits to baby mama. If you realise that whenever you ask the children or their mother he is fighting to comment about the venue and time he spent with them, he is not being straight. Why would someone who spent a whole day with his children say he only spent a few minutes with them unless he is hiding something?
4. He pretends to fear baby mama. Because your husband is an adult who can tell the difference between right and wrong, he can’t say that his baby mama forces him to stay. What would be her motivation for forcing him to stay when there is nothing going on? Don’t be naive, the only reason he stays is because he wants to.
5. Baby mama is rude to you. Honestly, if your husband and baby mama have both gone separate ways, he can’t accommodate her being rude to you and badmouthing you. If that is happening in your life, he should fight that battle for you. Failure to put her in check can only mean one thing, you are both his women and he is trying not to take sides.
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