Heart to Heart
Silent treatment may kill your marriage
Posted Thursday, March 6 2014 at 02:00
Communication is one of the many factors that relationships thrive on, and the moment it disappears, believe me or not, the relationship will die.
I know a couple that has been married for 10 years but recently, their marriage got messed up over money. Apparently, Rahimah and Musa went silent on each other after a misunderstanding after Musa invested some of their money in a piece of land.
The two had a poultry project which they had started three years back, and agreed to save the returns for another undisclosed development. The books of accounts seemed to be corresponding and everything on their joint account read well. They truly trusted each other, until the money was withdrawn.
It was unfortunate that even when Musa tried to explain how and where he had invested the money, his wife turned a deaf ear. She was sad that he didn’t consult her, albeit the fact that the money was well invested.
Because she was angry, Rahimah resorted to giving her husband silent treatment and also abandoned all her obligations as a wife.
As consolation, Musa diverted his attention to his 20-year-old housemaid. He not only enjoyed sleeping with her, but also impregnated her.
By the time Rahimah thought of making up, the girl was already four months pregnant. The fact is that the man could have gotten tired of pleading and waiting for his darling wife to return to her normal moods.
The wife tried to throw the maid out of their home, but it was too late; the damage had already been done and in fact the maid had a few words for her: “Excuse me madam, don’t blame me for this. It’s not me who told you to treat your husband like that. The man approached me and I had no reason to deny him the opportunity. Now that I am pregnant, don’t expect me to leave this house. Anyway if you can’t contain me, please leave, the door is open. I am no longer your house maid but your co-wife. Your husband is mine too, whether you like it or not,” she said.
I did not rejoice at this situation, but what beats my understanding is why anyone should pull a silent treatment stunt to punish their partner. Maybe she was misled by a friend, who may actually have waited to celebrate her downfall.
Let this be a lesson to other women; when you happen to disagree or get hurt by your spouse, please don’t react in the same way. It might be too painful for you but don’t let this take you a whole week. A day is enough to be mad. Talk the matter out.
Never be misled that silent treatment or getting another sex partner will solve the problem. Running away from the problem is not a solution. If it is too hard for you, seek advice from someone close or a professional. Not every person who smiles at you is a friend or wishes you well.
Imagine how much Rahimah and her husband would have avoided, if they had good communication skills.