Thursday May 31 2018

Sometimes a woman’s no actually means no

Sometimes a woman’s no actually means no

“A girl shows you all the red signs but you stand there hoping for a green light.”  

By Christine Nakalungi

So many times, men think that pursuing a woman even after she says no will win her over. Maybe in the past when society denied women the right to say no to a man’s demand. She was told to resist a little so that a man does not think she is easy to get.

Well, we are in the 21st Century where trends have changed. For example, a woman will walk up to a man and express her feelings or even propose marriage and yet some men still think that when a girl says no, she just wants you to chase harder.

My brother has had a crush on a certain girl he went to school with. The girl continuously told him no but he turned a deaf ear. She even dated his close friends in an effort to discourage him but he instead believed that she would eventually get tired of these games and come running to him.

This week, I received an invitation to the woman’s wedding. I immediately played the bully sister and called my brother, “Well, you know I will not be able to attend her wedding but will you represent us (family)?” He had no idea who was getting married and when I innocently told him, he lost his mind.

“How could she?” He asked in a shaky voice. “How could she not? Were you still hoping that she would one day get married to you?” I asked. He hang up and has not answered my calls since.
For years, we have been singing the ‘get over her’ song to my brother but he was too deaf to listen. Many years down the road, he is just realising that he should have moved on from his childish crush when she told him no.

Most people are stuck in these games. A girl shows you all the red signs but for some reason you stand there hoping for a green light. Some people get lucky and the girl develops feelings after sometime but others are not that lucky. If your eyes are stuck on someone, you will be blind to the other options. However, there is always another person who genuinely likes you and she or he is waiting for you to see them.

Yes, sometimes you just have to take someone by his or her word. If she likes you but instead says no hoping that you will pursue her, move on and find someone who will not make you beg. And to my dear sisters, if you do not like a man, tell him today rather than tomorrow. Why waste each other’s time?