Stingy men need to be checked into rehab
A stingy man is such a waste of testosterone. In fact, stinginess should be declared a clinical condition. Real men are supposed to be generous and give to the fairer sex even if there are no rewards to be gained. By generous and giving, I do not mean foolishly paying a random woman’s rent or utility bills just because you have faith that someday you will be rewarded with an out of this world three-hour ride to heaven.
By generous, I mean picking up the tab at the restaurant or at least paying half of it, offering to cover a taxi fare or if you are extremely broke, giving up your last ka-block of chewing gum. Seriously, how hard can that be?
I am not one of those people who still think that women were created to just sit back to be given and pampered by men but I also cannot help but frown at a man who does not feel the slightest need to spoil a woman even in the slightest way possible. Say, for instance, this friend I met in a taxi.
I was headed home from town and at one of the taxi stops, Andrew a former workmate and friend hopped into the taxi and as luck would have it, the seat next to me was vacant. We chatted all the way to Kansanga and laughed heartily at that morning meeting where the boss had come in wearing dirty smelly jeans and reeking of Kasese waragi, mumbling something about how he had to spend the night at a local bar because the wife would not let him into the house after 11pm.
When I was almost getting to my stop, I opened my bag ever so slowly and pulled out my wallet in slow motion. All this was so I could give him a chance to stop me midway and say he would cover my fare, which was only Shs1,000. I held up the wallet, pulled out a crisp Shs10,000 note and held it at face level waving it slowly to make sure that he was aware that I was about to give the money to the taxi tout. Despite my exaggerated and extremely slow ballet movements, he just sat there. I paid, not just for myself, but for him too.
No, he was not broke, he is just a stingy man and I have heard many stories in testimony to this. Not just from his female friends, but from the men too. I had thought my feminine wiles would get the better of him but no, he was beyond help. I hear people saying extremely rich people are stingy; well I hope he gets rich someday as a reward for this disturbing disability.
A tale is told of how his now ex-wife once came to the reception and demanded to see the paymaster. She wanted to know if her husband was being paid any salary at all because for all the six years he had worked for the company, he had never given her more than Shs20,000 a month.
He never bought her any new clothes, nor did the children get Christmas clothes. Not even for himself. He had no side project going, one he could claim was siphoning all his money. If she asked him to bring home some food, all he could manage was a rolex or chapatti and beans bought from the roadside.
Me thinks men like Andrew who cannot spend some of the money they sweat for on their wives, immediate family, or even on themselves should be castrated and made to serve as eunuchs at Mama Fina’s shrine.
