“Is there a lady aged 18-22 who can remove me from this deep ditch? If yes, contact 070...”. This is one of the messages I came across in our lonely hearts page this week. After placing it, I shared it with someone and just like me, he wondered: “What ditch?” Well, Mr Lonely heart knows best.
I read many of such interesting messages every week and most of the time, I just shake my head, because the next will be even more interesting, and then I will smile alone on my desk. Only I know how interesting Page 8 of this magazine is.
Many people who always look at the Lonely Hearts section always wonder how crazy some people are, in fact others have referred to them as “desperate”. Not with demands such as financially stable, light-skinned, White, secrect relationship etc. About two weeks ago, I came across one who wanted “a lady strictly for sex, because true love doesn’t exist”. How blunt!
Anyway, whatever you call them, these people are actually serious and everything they include in their searching messages matters - A LOT. If he says “text, don’t call”, he means it. If she says one from a certain tribe shouldn’t bother, she means it. If it’s a White man she wants, Blacks, please stay back. If you are broke, please don’t waste his time. They know why they made specific requests.
Christine Wanjiru went hunting for some of our lonely hearts and they were plain and upfront about their demands for certain qualities. So if you have always wondered why that particular lonely heart you thought would make a perfect match, had to draw a red line on his choice of tribe, you might want to jump straight to Page 3, because therein may lie a justification. Enjoy!