The drunk call to my ex that I shouldn’t have made
I made a drunk call to my ex once. No, make that twice, although the second time I called to say, “sorry, for bothering you last night but it was a quarter after one, and I was a little drunk, and I needed you,” then. Unfortunately I was drunk the second time too, and ended up mumbling an emotional confession about how I still loved her, and wanted her back, and that I could never live without her.
According to friends who cheered me on as I made a fool of myself, I also threatened to kill myself if she didn’t let me return into her loving arms.
How do I remember I made the calls? I woke up one morning after a night out with the boys to an SMS warning me against calling her at 3am otherwise she was going to report me to the Police.
I jeered, and went about nursing my hangover.
Later in the evening, I went through my call records and realised I had actually called her at 2.57am for six minutes. Six minutes? We never had a decent conversation during our relationship and here I was calling her for six minutes?
How did I get to ruin the remains of my reputation?
Who in their right mind, after a few rounds of alcohol, calls an ex at 3am? What else did we even talk about?
“Honey hi, how was your day?”
“Did you have lunch?”
“What is the colour of your underwear?”
“Do you miss me?”
“Do you miss me?” No she does not, you insecure and scared freak. She moved on and so should you. It is over between the two of you.
I know that going through a break up is hard and different people will approach that patch in life differently. Some move on, and live happily either as singles or with their new partners. Others are forever angry, even the very thought that the sky exists will anger them.
Me, I ended up making that late night embarrassing call.
“Life without you is no longer fun. In fact my girlfriend is here with me but it doesn’t matter because you, and only you are the reason I breath,” my colleagues say I said. They had video evidence to that effect!
That call made it to the top of the stupidest things I have done in my lifetime. Number two was to let her walk away.
So I spent the whole day feeling pretty pathetic. Pathetic because drunk dialing her made me look desperate. It made me look needy and silly. No woman wants a silly, desperate, insecure and needy little man.
Truth is there is even no way drunk dialing would have changed her perception of me, unless I caught her at the moment she too was drunk.
Real men know when to move on when it’s all over, like the fellas who stayed on as Arsenal humiliated Manchester United.
They know when to concede defeat.
And what better way than picking themselves up and go fishing again. And if the tilapia jumps out of the net, change lakes and catch Nile Perch! Never allow yourself to be caught in a situation where you will wake up a splitting hangover and regrets.
