“Once beaten, twice shy” is an adage we borrow in an effort to learn a lesson. Some people though, use it to turn off the world and never look back at the things that caused them immense pain.
“Take time off to heal that broken heart,” they advised you and so you did. What started off as a pause from relationships became your lifestyle. You thought the wound would never heal but it did, the scar however always brought you tears every time you saw loved ones holding hands on the street or when friends inviting you for their wedding meetings.
Eventually, you became numb to the love excitement. Your house became your haven. Movies, music and other sorts of entertainment filled the void and friends made you forget how lonely life was. Yes, you became comfortable with the new life that you embraced it with open hands. Initially, you had intended to take a break for a few months, you rode on the ‘singles bus’ for a year and it is now years but you still do not feel the urge to fall in love again.
Maybe you were planning on resuming the love program but then a friend came to you with a breakup story that drove you back to your cocoon. It is not that you have not met interesting people, you do not feel like giving up your freedom again only to be trampled upon when it is over.
Most people pretend that they are okay being alone but deep in the night, the wave of loneliness freezes their souls and even multiple blankets cannot take it away. You start hating romantic movies and all love story movies remind you of what you want but cannot have. You find a fault with every one that you meet and yet you know that there is no single soul under the sun that is perfect but this is your way of fortifying a wall to hide your fears.
I wish I could tell you that I have a way to get you back on track but, no. This is a battle that you have to fight on your own. It is you who can pull down those walls that surround your heart. Face your fears head on and move on with your love life.