Sunday July 27 2014

Things that men never understand about women

I can’t recall exactly how old I was when I learned that I’d probably spend the rest of my life trying to understand women. The lesson started with a simple proposition in our backyard: “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” There was confusion.

So while I’m no longer as stumped by the female body, I still struggle to understand some of the finer points of the female personality. Here are a few things that men just don’t understand about women. And women, please feel free to explain any of these to us in the comments below!

You wear heels even on nights when you know you will be walking a lot. I’m just saying—you can only expect so much sympathy. When you are going to stroll in the park, do you need six-inch heels?

Why you need so many throw pillows. You don’t even use them! They’re just piled up everywhere, like the padded walls of an insane asylum. This is probably half the reason it takes you so long to get ready for bed.

We need to talk. Yes, a woman has something to tell you but when you avail her the time, she beats about the bush and does not say it. We are not dumb and are always put in the spot to listen. But with that impression that you were never serious or actually had nothing to say to us.

It takes you six months to choose a hairstyle. I would like to remind women that bridges are built in less time. I have always looked at thousands of adverts while walking past hair spots. There are many salons with pictures of hairstyles but it takes a woman “years” to choose what she wants. Can someone explain this to a man?

You try on everything. Every size, every style, every time. And that’s why there is a boyfriend stool in every boutique. Because it take you a thousand hours to zero down on the outfit you want to shop for even when you leave home aiming to buy a piece of underwear.

Also, how is shopping a social activity? I once shopped with a man friend, and afterward, we vowed to never do it again. We won’t even talk about it. It’s just too uncomfortable.

Somehow, all the important stuff always goes to the bottom of that bag. Shouldn’t your keys be easier to find? Are you sure that’s your purse? You didn’t steal another woman’s purse, did you? Did you?

Is peeing a social activity? You hang out one of those nights and she is in company of her colleagues. When her bladder is full, she chooses to ask three of the four friends to escort her to the washrooms.
This keeps a man wondering, “Does one bladder fill up on behalf of all the others in her company?” When men got to the washroom, it is like one minute of meditation. And they do not want anybody’s company.