Heart to Heart

Watch out guys, not all that glitters is from a gold mine

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By Mike Ssegawa

Posted  Thursday, March 6   2014 at  02:00
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So you want to marry? What does she look like, what are her values, who is she? There is a kind of woman I wouldn’t advise anyone to settle with. If you are already married, good luck with what you have, but if you haven’t put a ring on it yet, you have a chance to reconsider, and then maybe, you can thank me later.

1.Atheist. I have nothing against atheists. In fact, one of the best human beings I have met mocks God whenever he gets the opportunity, but he is an honest, humble and staunch Catholic. However, if you realise that your girl does not believe in God, you have a challenge, because she is definitely bound to create her own gods.
And that little god won’t be you, unfortunately. We all know God is necessary in times of blessing and crises. If you don’t have him, and she does not have him, you will drift through a relationship without meaning. I prefer and every man deserves a believer at his side.

2. Spendthrift. I hate the idea of sweeping a girl off her feet with money, much as the cash is believed to do miracles. But when you get a girl who adores money and wants to spend it the way she wants, the day it disappears, you will earn the tag “former tycoon”.
She will leave you broke, to a point that you may even find yourself kneeling before boda boda cyclists asking them to help you load your property when you are evicted from your house. If what is on your girl’s mind is anything to do with money, shopping, sipping expensive wines, jewellery, travelling or vacations in Bali, you better define yourself. Not even Sudhir supports that reckless spending!

3. The party animal. She never misses an album launch. Bouncers, waitresses and DJs at Club Silk know her by name. She calls herself a socialite, and has a gang of friends who run around Entebbe, Jinja and other towns in the name of having fun. Leave that woman. She is up to no good.

4. The seductress. She has bedded every big name in town. Okay, I mean, everyone in the neighbourhood knows the size of her waist. This kind of woman thinks her sexuality opens doors for her.
Her dress code is that which Fr Lokodo uses to defend his “anti-porn law”. She posts flirtatious comments on her Facebook or Twitter walls. Please, open your trash can and drop her name there.
5. The rebounder. She has just broken up with her boyfriend or husband. And when she comes to you, she falls into your chest crying and begging for comfort. She even says, “I will teach him a lesson”. But then, she behaves like you are the next thing.
You should also break her heart again without mercy. I know such birds are easy to sleep with, but you will regret when her anger from the previous break-ups explodes on you.

6. The one-way traffic. Which person takes but never gives anything in return? You do everything for her; prepare her breakfast, drive her to work, pay the bills, and when she tells you to do this or do that, you obey. She is just a control freak or sees things her way and when she tells you she is an independent-minded woman. She does not know that relationships are about striking a middle ground. This kind of thing [not relationship] drains anyone’s batteries. Dump her, and move on.

7. The mama’s girl. What more is there to say? She is mama’s girl – you know: “I am at mama’s place”. “I will ask mama about it.” She is like that every now and then. Everything mama knows, mama solves. This is the kind who will ask mama even when to have children. The food she will prepare for you will be the one mama loves most – even if her mama prefers smoked cassava, that will be your “staple” food.

8. The addict. I don’t mind if she is addicted to you. But if her addiction is alcohol, drugs, sleep, chocolate, cakes, pornography, let her face her issues alone. Find a sober one.
Bottom line is, you need to look beyond those physical attributes such as the stunning kabina, boobs, nice legs and sexy eyes. Go for inner qualities, the ones I will tell you about another time.

mssegawa@ke.nationmedia.com