We’ll talk all night if we have to

Musically, you have been very quiet, what’s cooking?
May be you didn’t understand my kind of music, I’m not the kind that often releases music. I can even take three years without releasing a new song but still earn from the old ones. At least every weekend I have a wedding to sing at, an introduction or any other gig.

Apart from music and radio, what else do you do?
I’m a representative of disabled persons from Kampala Central Division, a father of five and a relationships counsellor.

What do women complement you about the most?
My voice. When you called me, some women had just sent me a text message asking to speak to me and when I probed, she said she only wanted to hear my voice.

So does that make women hit on you?
No, they just appreciate my voice and sometimes, I limit my niceness to them but I don’t give them a lot of time to take appreciation further.

It’s become common for women to get to 30 and begin to panicking about settling down. Why do you think is that?
At about 18, women have high standards. They try out different relationships but the desire for riches and comparison with friends’ spouses supercedes everything.
As they experiment here and there, the biological clock ticks and boom, they already 30 years, which put them in a panic mood for a serious spouse to settle down with. Unfortunately, at that age, there may not be so many men coming their way.

What things do you think women do at work that hold them back?
The biggest is doing things out of peer pressure. They form cliques at work, don’t make personal decision and spend a lot of time gossiping which leads to a low output at work.

How do you resolve conflicts in your marriage?
Just like any other relationship. We sometimes disagree on certain issues but endeavour to talk about it. Even if it means talking about something for a whole night until we reach a compromise them do it.

What are today’s young couples getting wrong?
Like I said, it is all about communication. My wife (Sophie Gombya) and I talk about a problem as and when it occurs, sometimes even in the car as we go back home. This helps us leave the past behind. The problem with some couples is that they pile problems in that by the time they talk about it, they are ready to pack their things and go.

The other is that we recognise that we are two adults heading the home in equal capacities so I don’t impose myself as the man unlike in our culture where men front themselves as the sole decision makers. Finally, saying sorry is important in every relationship.

What do you think today’s woman needs to do diifferently in her marriage?
Women need to know their responsibilities and their husbands’. When a woman starts paying the children’s school fees, buying the food in the home and so on, she unknowingly deems the man useless. It is okay to help out once in a while, especially if you realise your man is unable to. But don’t make it routine otherwise he will end up providing for another woman. Constantly remind him of his role in the home.

Does public display of affection affect a relationship in any way?
Yes, positively. If someone shows you that they love you when you are indoors but cannot display that love to the outside world, then it’s not love. My wife and I walk hand in hand and I feel secure about that. But I don’t support kissing in public.

We are Africans so some things are not befitting in our culture. Sometimes you may be overwhelmed because I ever kissed Sopie in public when we won an award but it shouldn’t be a common practice.
What’s your take on social media?
It’s bad; people are misusing it posting very personal issues, dead people’s photos, intimate details and the like. Some people send their nude photos via WhatsApp, which has ruined relationships when partners land on them.

What’s your advice to women?
Women should respect their men. To the single ladies, give a chance to those showing interest in you because you may wait for Mr Right for forever. Someone’s physical appearance doesn’t reflect their personality.
Also, love yourself first before donating your heart to someone else so that when you are hurt, you will at least retain 50 per cent.

My mistakes
What is the biggest mistake you have done as;
Husband: In the beginning, I used to booze but one day I made a self-reflection and slowed down. Men should be able to do this, when someone cries over something twice; you should sit down and reflect on it.

Father: I was very strict and tough on my children when I felt they were deviating from the path I wanted them to take but later resolved to instead pray for them.

Artiste: I didn’t give it priority. If I had, I would be very far. I concentrated more on radio.
Person: Making a rush decision that cost me Shs78m because I didn’t think through something before venturing into it.