Heart to Heart
We met at a friend’s housewarming party
Posted Sunday, August 3 2014 at 01:00
Here he is. Angella Nansubuga, a systems administrator introduced Moses Ochieng Omita, a real estate dealer at her parents’ home in Nansana Wakiso District. The two told Esther Oluka about their customary marriage.
Under what circumstances did you two meet?
Moses: I first met Angella at a friend’s house warming party in Bukoto in 2011. I remember after seeing her, I walked up to where she was standing, chatted a little bit before exchanging contacts.
Angella: He then started calling to check on how I was doing. As time went on, we became good friends and eventually started dating some time later that year.
Did you face any obstacles when you just started dating?
Moses: Yes, but just a few of them. Angella was such a guarded girl and it took a little bit of convincing for her to accept me . The age factor was also an issue to her but she soon got over it.
So how old were you then?
Moses: I was 43 years old and she was 22 years old.
What were some of the interesting things during the introduction ceremony?
Moses: I’m a Japadhola from Tororo while my partner is a Muganda. I was mesmerised by how things are done during their cultural introduction ceremonies. I found it interesting how Angella and her entourage were marching, dancing and singing.
Also, the function was very organised. Let’s say that if it was time for speeches, that was the activity that went on as planned and one would find that everyone was seated and listening very attentively.
Angella: Most of the things went according to plan. What I enjoyed the most was the first time I locked eyes with Moses at the function. It was sort of a magical moment that is still fresh on my mind.
Did you encounter any disappointments on that day?
Moses: No, I did not encounter any. Everything went as had been planned.
Angella: Since I was the mugole (bride) on that day, my work was just to do as said or instructed. This meant that even if I saw something wrong somewhere, I could not do anything even when I wanted to. For instance, during meals, some people did not know where to line up while others seemed stranded. I had to just look on because of my ceremonial position that day and hope that the ushers would help.
Was it the first time Angella was introducing you to her parents?
Moses: No, I first met Angella’s parents during okukyaala (first visit to girl’s parents to introduce suitor ) in August last year. It was from there that we settled on the date for the introduction.
How long did it take for you to plan for the ceremony?
Moses: It took about three months.
How was the planning process?
Moses: It was not tedious because we allocated ourselves responsibilities and performed them accordingly.
Angella:There was not much to worry about because I discussed with Moses the details and requirements for the day months in advance.
What was the overall expenditure for the entire function?
Moses: (smiles before politely saying) I’m not comfortable revealing those details.
How did you decide on whom to invite for your ceremony?
Moses: Besides family members, the guests from my side were chosen mostly on a friendly basis. They were friends from all walks of life.
Angella: My mother and aunt Nakiboneka were the ones instrumental in drawing up the guest list.
Did you go for premarital counselling before that day?
Moses: Yes. My mother, Gertrude Ochieng advised to love, respect and care for Angella.
Angella: Yes, my mother Mrs Bukirwa and my aunt Nakiboneka told me to always love, respect and care for Moses.
How many outfits did you wear that day?
Moses: I wore only one kanzu.
Angella: Four outfits because each had a purpose to serve. During the first march to welcome the guests and show off my suitor to the guests, I wore a gomesi.
During the second time for receiving the gifts, I also wore a gomesi. Then, I wore a lilac sari during the third round which was the time for cutting the cake.
During the last march, one commonly known as (akabbo ko’muwala), where I was required to offer my fiancé, his mother and his family members gifts, I wore the third gomesi.
Did you get nervous on that day?
Moses: No, I did not get anxious because I knew my woman loves me and yes, we had planned it to the dot.
Angella: Yes, I got nervous during the first march to welcome the guests probably because all eyes were on me.
If you were to redo your ceremony, what would you change?
Moses: I would not change anything.
Angella: During my introduction ceremony, it was particular people who received gifts. If I were given the opportunity to do the function once again, I would ensure that every guest walks away with something.
After introduction, what next?
Moses: We shall keep you posted since we are still planning for our wedding and have not confirmed the date.
What is your advice to other couples who are yet to get married?
Moses: Settling down is all about maturity and love for one another. Minus, those two elements, you are living a lie.
Angella: Love is important if you are to consider marriage. This is because once someone is in love; it becomes easy for them to forgive their partner whenever they make a mistake.
The couple took the initiative to serve their guests of the cake. This makes the guests feel at ease.