Heart to Heart

Weddings:Planning on people’s money

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By Annah Nafula

Posted  Thursday, March 6  2014 at  02:00

Good heavens! This girl just won’t let me be. We were in school together, although we were not best of friends. Until recently, I had last received a call from her three years ago. It was a surprise call - a call I wish I had never answered.

“I am getting married,” she said on the other end. I was excited for her and assured her that I would surely attend the ceremony. She gave me the date and looking at my calendar, it was perfect timing; I wasn’t working that day. I confirmed my presence but informed her that I do not attend parties alone. So I told her I would come with a friend, and she accepted without hesitation.

Then I started receiving endless phone calls and annoying messages from her, saying I should attend her wedding meetings. I tried to make her understand that my schedules are tight as I am always obliged to work even on weekends. I refused to read between the lines (she was actually looking for a contribution). I refused to do that. Because back then in school, she was the kind who always talked of getting married to a rich man. So I thought by the time she took the decision to get married, the man was the rich type!

The calls never stopped and I did keep receiving them but I hate that I picked the final two. I wondered whether Liz was really ready for this. It was a Friday and the wedding was on Sunday, she said she had not even touched the food item on the budget. And this time she was not asking but demanding for my contribution. To be honest, I silently asked myself: “Does this girl really know that her wedding is the least of my worries now?” I had already spent so much in the past weeks. The wedding was the last thing I was thinking about.

She told me all her friends did not give her money for her traditional ceremony. I was forced to ask her whether she made her wedding plans according to other people’s pockets. I asked whether the man (groom) had given her some money and she replied in the positive. I asked her whether she had invited so many people and she said no. I then went to the hard question: “What makes you rush into a ceremony when you are not ready?”

I often attend weddings that squeeze a lot out of us during meetings, and on the D-day, we realise that we have to leave before food is served simply because the bride has turned a wedding into a fashion show. For some reason, it just never makes sense. Keeping it simple and sticking to priorities is what makes life simple during this time.

I hope one day people learn that it is a wedding between them and their spouse, the rest of us just come to celebrate love. What you do on your wedding day should be for the good of you two, not the entire village. To be honest, as soon as I have my plate of food, I won’t care whether you are married or not.