When is it okay to get intimate after childbirth?

We all agree that sex is healthy and in marriage, it is one of the key things that keeps intimacy in check and completes a relationship. A time comes when the fruits of that intimacy are born - pregnancy.
In the nine-month course, joy will fill the home. But things in the marital bed may change, especially after the birth of a child. And the question is, for how long?
Should it be a few weeks after the bleeding has stopped or after the baby is a little older? Remember, apart from a few women, most mothers who have a normal delivery get that vaginal tear, and those who undergo a caesarean section will have a painful wound that may prevent them from engaging in heavy house chores.
Dr Cohen Maliro, a medical clinical officer at Diva Medical Centre, says the stipulated period for a couple to resume intercourse depends on the mother’s condition after giving birth. This does not matter whether the mother gave birth by caesarean or normal birth. This is because the wound in the uterus (womb) after the placenta has come out is still healing.
“If a woman happens to have sex before time, she may get infections. That is why we recommend at least six weeks. By that time, she would have stabilised to have sex again, depending on whether she is comfortable or physically and emotionally ready,” Dr Maliro says.
He further explains that a mother who has had a C-section and happens to have sex before time is prone to developing sepsis, a body’s overwhelming and life-threatening response to infection which can lead to tissue damage, organ failure, and death.
Mothers who had a normal delivery are on the other hand likely to develop pain, a foul smelly discharge, and pelvic inflammatory diseases such as endometritis, bleeding from genital area, among others.
Justine Nantume, a senga (sex therapist), advises women to take a while before getting intimate with their men after giving birth. “During the nine months of pregnancy, a woman’s body changes, meaning if she fails to massage it after giving birth, there is a high possibility that her anatomy will remain loose, which makes romance boring,” she says.
Apart from the female parts changing size, the natural warmth is also lost because of an increased in the size of the opening.
She advises that after leaving hospital, the caretaker should massage the woman’s entire body with banana leaves that have been used to prepare food. It is a healing herb, locally known as kamunye.
Nantume cautions women against rushing back to get intimate in a bid to stop their men from indulging in other relationships because that will instead worsen the situation.
Christopher Senyimba, a psychologist, says there is no recommended time to resume sexual activities, but six to eight weeks after child birth is appropriate. But one should consider the health of the mother, whether she had complications at birth or not, and whether she had enough postpartum care (the attention a mother gets after giving birth to recover fast).
Emotional readiness: This is when both partners are emotionally ready to resume their sexual life because sometimes mothers are afraid of engaging in sexual activities again because they are not prepared psychologically.
“It is thus advisable that men give their wives psycho-socio support so as to restore confidence. Re-engaging in sexual activities helps bring back the bond that might have been lost between the couple during the maternity period,” Senyimba says.

What people say

It is supposed to be after four months but it all depends on the delivery method. However, the chances of a woman conceiving again are high if done in that period, that is why it is advisable for a woman to start having sex again after resuming her menstrual period.
Vincent Ooko, communications officer

Resuming sex is okay because I am entitled to it as a man, but that does not necessarily mean that I have intercourse with her before she is ready, then my manhood will be questioned. However, it should be about six months for C-section and six weeks for normal delivery.
Henry Mukooza, sales personnel

I think a man should wait until his wife heals properly. At the same time, she should focus on feeling better and perfectly ready for the game. The man should at this time be careful to avoid causing pain.
Simon Cephas Ediau, risk control assistant

It depends on how the birth occurred. Some men are just maniacs. What is wrong with one waiting? The body needs to be given time to heal and firm up. The vaginal canal may not be ready for intercourse before three months elapse.
Kenneth Lukwago Anderson, radio producer

Hanifah Watsisi, mobile money agent

It should have been three months but it is unfortunate that some men are too impatient that they force their wives into sex two weeks after giving birth, not knowing that they are actually affecting the woman. And sometimes women hurry to have sex again to prevent their husbands from engaging in other relationships.
Pamela Muliisa, businesswoman

It should be one year. By that time the woman’s body has rebuilt, it is firm and ready to handle as much intimacy as possible. Meaning, men should always be patient as they wait for their wives to heal properly.
Victoria Nakayiza, hairdresser