When love dies, light a candle and move on

Love is not eternal. To some people it is but to many others it is not. Love is just like life, it can come to an end whether you are ready or not. As we were growing up, the generation that survived the 1980’s war would say; the villages were surrounded by armed men, some were rebels and others were soldiers defending the government. People hid in their houses for days until hunger forced them out. At some point, the residents realised that they had to go out and find food or else they would escape the rebels only to be killed by hunger. They used to say, “Will you spend a night in a forest just because you are scared of police?”

No matter how scary the security operatives were, life had to go on. In the same way, no matter how hurting it gets when you breakup, life has to go on.

There is nothing as hard as convincing a broken soul that there is hope. As a matter of fact, a hurting person is aware that tears will not change a thing but instead cries until the eyes dry. Love is a mystery, it is not like a sickness that we can find a cure, each person is treated differently and no one can help you carry the burden, you have to go through all the healing stages on your own.

As for Brenda, she has gone through numerous heartbreaks that she predicts when a relationship might end. Last week, she broke up with her boyfriend with whom they had dated for over a year. She was happy but a month ago, became suspicious of Johnie’s actions.

He was drawing away from her and when she noticed, she prepared herself for the breakup. When he finally broke the news, she went to her apartment, lit a candle, poured herself a glass of wine and cried herself to sleep. She liked him and hoped that they had worked out but fate had a different opinion, so she obliged.

Brenda took a night off and even missed a friend’s baby shower. When we asked her why she had switched off her phone, she explained, “I had to find the energy to bury my past.” We all wondered what she meant. When she shared the agonising story and what she did to put her breakup to rest, she sounded unbothered as though she was not hurt but she told us that, “One day, I will die and the best my friends will do is light candles, bury me and go back to business as usual”

So, maybe, a person needs to accept the painful reality that love cannot escape death and just light a candle and move on.

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