Thursday September 7 2017

When love fades, walk away when you still can

By Christine Nakalungi

Love fades and the earlier you believe it, the better. It is not a guarantee the love you have for your spouse will last for eternity. Some people are lucky to thrive through all the storms but still kiss even on their death bed but that is not for every couple.
The most unfair situation is when you still love your spouse but they do not love you anymore. Should you then hang in there with hope that the feelings will resurrect or will you sacrifice your happiness and watch them move on? There is no better way of saying this but when love is no longer the binding factor between the two of you, walk away and find refugee before it is too late.
Some people get caught up in the fantasy that they fail to recognise when it is over. Julie was a victim of such. Thomas told her about his need to move on but she believed he would change his mind. For some time, it worked. He started dating other women but kept returning to Julie. Julie thought she had won him over. She was proud she had not given-up. As friends, we were happy for her but our celebration did not last long.
She started falling sick and decided to visit the doctor. The doctor delivered the most shocking news to her. She was HIV-positive. Julie’s knees weakened. No matter how much she pleaded with the doctor, the damage was already caused. She cried her eyes dry but this did not save her either. Pain, anguish and regret filled her soul. Her smile was robbed that very moment. And nothing the counsellors said made sense to her. Julie could stare but not see, her inner voice cried but no one could hear her. She prayed that this nightmare could end and she wakes up but no, it was not a dream; reality had hit her harder than a rock.
When Julie’s mother was contacted, she sobbed in distress, “I warned her but she did not listen,” she said. “She could have walked away when she still had the chance to.” Julie was at the verge of losing her mind. Thomas, the person she loved the most had stabbed her right in the heart and it was too late to even walk away.
And so I learnt, rather than try to resurrect the dead, get up and find life somewhere else. Love is given to those who accept it. Once it is over, it might be a red light for you to move on too. Cry through the night; let the pillows feel your pain but when the morning comes, get the courage to walk away when you still have the chance to.