Heart to Heart

You are richer now, redo your wedding

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By Mike Ssegawa

Posted  Thursday, March 27   2014 at  02:00
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Long before the culture of “begging meetings” started, couples would plan a simple wedding, something that the family could afford. No one was strangled for not contributing to their best friend’s wedding. Weddings were all about getting together to celebrate – not to show off.
Well, things are different today. When your friend’s “begging card” comes to your desk, it is impolite to throw it in the trash can. Today if you start your wedding meetings and don’t ask your friends for a contribution, you are labelled as rude and arrogant. So please, beg. Let money rain. Let’s have fun.

Well, that’s not my subject today. Have you ever considered re-doing your wedding? I’m talking to that lot that missed out on today’s pomp and glamour, typical of today’s weddings.

You are in that bracket of people who wedded 10 years ago, while both of you were broke. You barely made a handful of potential financial contributors, let alone, get the LC3 chairperson to attend as guest of honour. You didn’t get the motorcade you dreamt of, she didn’t wear the gown of her dreams, you had a one-tier cake. People talked about it - politely.

Due to your tightly-cut budget, you could only end up at some gardens in Kyebando for your reception. Well, it suited your visitors.

Times have changed. Today, you have arrived. You have the four haves; an enviable job/business, fat salary, a nice car and a home. You also have great contacts who can sign a Shs10m cheque for you. They beg you not to refuse the offer. I mean, what are friends for?
Today you have nothing to lose, so re-do your wedding. Your wedding is one of the five most important things in your lifetime besides your birthday, your graduation day; there’s nothing as exciting as getting your first degree, and the day you die [you are free to celebrate it if you can].

It is clear that of all the five, your wedding day is the only one you can re-create over and over, because love never fades.

Here’s how: Time your anniversary and retake your vows, the way the President and his wife did recently. Didn’t they look lovely?
Ignore the grey hairs or bald head, the spirit of the wedding never fades. The redos are always fun and entertaining. There’s less anxiety.

It is time you thanked God for blessing your hands. Spoil yourself. It is also a time to thank God for keeping you alive with your loved one. Many people have lost them – like a lady I read about whose husband, a soldier was summoned on duty in Somalia on the first day of their honeymoon. He answered the call even before consummating his marriage. He went to the frontline never to come back. He was shot by the al Shabaab.

Such sad stories remind you that the 10 years or so you have spent with your sweetheart, are worth celebrating.
There are also thousands of marriages that never saw their first anniversary, or the fifth. So, as your candle burns on the 10th anniversary or so, toast to your love.
Think of Sudhir Ruparelia, whose daughter was taken a couple of months ago, what would it be like if he redid his wedding?

Re-doing your wedding can re-energise your relationship. You also get a chance to show your children the way to go. Imagine the smile on their faces seeing mom and dad laughing together. It is also a reminder to the children that their family is built on a strong foundation of love between a man and woman.

Since I know the success of every man is measured by the friends they have and the size of their bank account [not one of the two, like Sudhir said recently], re-doing your wedding can prove both. And it would be a good reason to thank God if you can afford both.

mssegawa@ke.nationmedia.com