SINGLE IN THE CITY: Backwards to get ahead

I watched a movie not too long ago. Something about a single woman’s search for a partner and the advice by her therapist to look for all her exes and close unfinished business. Basically, figure out what could be the reason she never seems to settle down.

I remembered this movie because I found myself in a predicament much like the character’s. Not that I got a therapist, no, I think writing this column every week is therapy enough. I just had to confront the past like she did, basically speak to the men with whom I had the longest and most intense relationships. My first and second boyfriends, Leon One and Leon Two.

I know it is weird that they had the same names. And they could have been the same person were it not for complexion. With both, I always felt we had a deeper connection. They are also my sort of friends today so reaching out to there was not that hard.

Leon Two: set the ball rolling by saying that there was sure I was still single in one of our occasional chats I was indignant at how presumptuous he was but then again he was right. Yes, I met Prince but there have been no promises yet, and he is still miles away with the baby mama drama so technically I am still single. So I listened as he told me to be careful about trying to rescue another man like I did with him.

“The relationship was good for me but was bad for you,” is how he summed up our one and a half year together. That put any doubts I had about ending it so many years ago, he was right, he was extremely high maintenance emotionally.

Leon One, because he was my very first love. Probably the love of my life. I loved him fiercely and he returned that with passion. No memory I have made with any other man comes close to what I had with Leon One. From the first day, I felt the fluttering that signalled the end of our platonic friendship. “My first time” should have been awkward, but he turned into a memory I will hold onto until I die. Two days spent loving the way his mouth was set, how he called my name and how we could sit for hours stalking about nothing. Of course, the end was epic, all but obliterating a friendship forged from childhood.
As you can imagine, a lot went down when I contacted him, but alas, my word count is full, so details come next week!

-fullwoman@ug.nationmedia.com