Case of the ex: Signs you have not moved on

Moving on. After our hearts have been broken, it can be pretty hard to know what normality feels like and it is difficult to be sure whether we can get back on the dating scene or if we need to spend a little more time scoffing cake, wearing nothing but a sad face. If you recognise your own behaviour in any of the signs below, you are probably not quite ready to break that emotional bond you’ve made with your soppy movies and box of tissues just yet.

You keep cute mementos
We are not suggesting that you start loading your car with expensive gifts from your ex and carting them down to the skip, but if you keep those cute little mementos that remind you of your time together, you would be doing yourself a favour to get rid of them. You have kept the cinema tickets from your first date? And the pen that you seized from the hotel room where you first stayed together? Sheesh. By keeping hold of these objects you’re only prolonging the pain.

Drunken texting
You feel like you are over your ex, but then on a night out you just cannot refrain from sending them an “I miass youuuUU” text and you have just proven yourself wrong. It gets worse when you spend the rest of the evening checking your phone for a reply and then – when this does not happen – the beer tears start flowing. You cry yourself to sleep and wake up cringing the next day when you read through all of the texts you sent after the first one. Delete their number from your phone. Do it now.

Miss serial stalker
If you find yourself getting spruced up only to hang around where your former flame usually goes, we are afraid you are not over them. Similarly, if you find yourself logging on to Twitter or Facebook solely to see if there has been a change to their relationship status or to see who that random cute girl/guy is who they’ve just become “friends” with (and whom you point-blank refuse to believe is their cousin), you need to chill out.

They are in your bed
If you both intend for this breakup to be a serious one, do not wake up with your former other half in your bed. Yes, your former snuggle bunny might be the only comfort that will help you get to sleep at the moment, but if you are going to break up, you will someday need to learn to sleep without them. If you are still having sex, this is a recipe for a breakup disaster, too. What will you do if/when your other half moves on and you are left feeling used? You are going to feel worse in the long run.

You call your ex “by accident”
If you find yourself wracking your brain for ways to get in touch with your ex, you are definitely not over them. You accidentally-on-purpose phone him or her and then hang up in the hope that they will call back so you can say, “Oh, sorry – my phone must have called you from my pocket by accident. Anyway, how are you?” Ladies and gentlemen, no matter how creative and smooth you think this move is, it is an age-old trick that is so obvious, it makes us cringe.

You have a breakup playlist
You have had Adele’s Someone Like You on repeat since you broke up and you swear that the singer herself has been stalking you and used you as inspiration for the lyrics. This is not to mention the slow motion collage of images from your relationship that float through your head every time you listen to the soppy song. If you have found yourself in a similar situation recently, we can pretty confidently say that you are not over your ex.

You date someone similar
Of course you are over your ex! You’re dating someone else who is kind, gorgeous and... just like your ex. This is a common sign that you aren’t over your former other half after all. If you have moved on from this person then why are you trying to replace them with someone who is just the same?
Instead of trying to replicate what you lost soon after a breakup, you need to deal with your issues head-on to completely get rid of that pain. Once you have dealt with the pain you will feel refreshed and ready to move on with someone else (who probably will not be anything like the ex).
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