Bride: From home with love

Marriage is one of the most treasured aspects in African culture. The day the girl (bride) is sent from her parents’ home to her new home with her husband is the most important day to her and the entire family. The bride’s parents and relatives give advice to her on how to manage her new home. But that is not all. When a girl is leaving her parents’ home, her parents expect gifts in form of dowry or bride price from the man’s (groom) side. In return, as the girl is officially sent to start a new home, culturally, her parents give her some gifts.

One thing that stands out among the different tribes is that such cultural activities are being eroded by the evolving cultural trends being adopted by the younger generation.

Opale Papa, the spokesperson of Ikuruku clan among the Itesots, says such cultural norms are being left to the older generation in the villages, which he says might disappear with time if much attention is not paid to them.

The Banyankore
In Ankole, the bride is given ebirabo, which are gifts from well wishers and emihingiro, the gifts given by parents. All the gifts given to the bride are tied on one long wooden stick called omugamba (pictured right) according to Steven Rwangyezi, the founder and director of Ndere Cultural Centre.
Rwangyezi says the most important gifts, which are a must, are given by the paternal aunt, essentially for the bedroom hygiene.

These include rukomyo, (a pot given to a bride where she keeps all her perfumes) engyeneko, (a pot where the bride is to keep all her perfumes), orweeju (a herb the bride puts on her skin to remain smooth and shiny), eicwende (a calabash where the bride keeps all her future cosmetics or uses for processing ghee), ehweera (a big gourd that keeps obushera for the husband) and enkyeka (a smaller gourd used for serving).

He says the parents also give gifts that a bride needs to start a home, which may include but not limited to, ekongolo (a small gourd used by children to take milk), ekirere (small gourd for keeping milk), ekishaabo (a calabash used to keep milk until it is turned into ghee), eicuba (a bucket used to give water to the cows) and enkuyo which is used to clean the cow’s teats and also lactate them before milking. Emboha is in form of a rope that is given to tie the cow’s legs while milking to prevent it from kicking the milk bucket.

He says all these are given to a bride in a ceremony called okuhingira, which means give-away. He says Okuhingira is a word which was used to refer to the act of helping by digging for others or give a hand in someone’s garden. Therefore, marriage was seen as a garden that the bride was going into and that she needed everyone’s hand to succeed. He adds that this is the reason they had emihingiro and ebirabo.

Rwangyezi further notes that the bride’s father was supposed to give her eshagarirano (cows given to the bride in an act called okushagarira, although he says the quantity varied depending on how capable the father was).

The Samyas
A cow and a gourd is given among the Samyas as a way of telling a bride that milk should never run out in a home according to Webby Bwire, an elder.

“For us, it is not that we are sending away our daughter for good. It is a sign that we appreciate her service s and contribution to our family. It is also a message to the bride that she should do the same where she is going. If food runs out of a home, milk should never. We also appreciate her with a bicycle to help her with work like fetching water, chairs and mattresses,” Bwire explains.

The Baganda
The Baganda culturally give their daughters a basket (ekibbo), a knife (akambe), a hoe (enkumbi) and a mat (omukeeka) as Susan Bogere Nsensebuse, a mwogezi (speaker) at Kwanjula (introduction). He also notes that this is in addition to advice given to the bride by the sengas (aunties).

Significance

“The ekibbo (such as the ladies are carrying in the picture above) is meant to be used for serving food, akambe is to tell the bride that she is going to peel and cook for the husband’s family, enkumbi is to ensure that there is constant food supply in a home, whereas omukeeka is for kneeling on while serving or sitting on,” he explains.

Jamadah Kivumbi Sserwadda, another mwongezi, says in addition, the bride is given olubuggo (back cloth) and embuzi (goat).
“The olubuggo is used to sit on in the bedroom to settle any matter in the family.

Virgins highly regarded
The embuzi was given because in the past, girls were expected to go for marriage when they were still virgins.

The same was with boys, unlike today. If the bride was later discovered not to be a virgin, the only way to communicate to her parents was by returning the goat.

So if it was not returned, it meant that the girl was a virgin,” he explained.
Olive Namukwaya, a married Muganda lady, says in addition, the bride was given a cloth commonly known as kikooyi, which is worn under a gomesi.

The Acholi
Among the Acholi, the bride is escorted by at least two people (normally sisters, brothers or cousins).
The name given to them is lulwoko as Rwot Peter Oola Ojigi II, the head of Alakulum clan in Acholi explains.

“These people carry along millet (bel/kal), sorghum (kabi), ground nuts (pul), sissim (lyin) and all kitchen equipment called pedo. The significance is in three parts; to show that the bride had been allowed to go and get married, to show support to the family where she is going and to enable her start a new life,” Rwot Ojigi explains.

The Batooro
Among the Batooro, the special gifts given to a girl on her way to marriage include a skin hide (enketo), a rod (Omugamba), emigajju and a basket of beads (enkwanzi) according to Elizabeth Kabahuma, a cultural events organiser in the Tooro Kingdom.

“The enketo is used for sitting and kneeling on while serving the husband and visitors. In our kingdom, a woman sitting down on that enketo is a sign of respect and dignity. Omugamba is used to keep gourds where milk that is served to visitors, is kept. We do not serve milk to our visitors in glasses.

“Emigajju stores ghee that is used to look after her skin. We believe that a lady’s skin must be smooth for her husband to be comfortable with her. Then enkwanzi is used to make necklaces to add beauty to the bride. We do not expect her to ask for money from her husband to buy necklaces but rather make her own,” she says.

She also adds that in addition to the above, the bride is also given a cow to ensure continuous supply of milk that is supposed to be served to her family and visitors in a home.

The Itesots
The Itesot culturally give the bride a cooking pot (amoti), broom (ajanniti), mingling stick (akingolo) and a winnower (eriite) according to Opale Papa, the spokesperson of Ikuruku clan.

“The amoti (such as one pictured left) is used to prepare food in a home. It keeps heat for long and it is delicate.

A bride is also given the amoti to tell her that marriage is delicate and should be treasured and that no matter the challenges she encounters, she should not think of divorcing.

The ajanniti is to keep the home clean all the time. An akingolo and eriite are used to prepare millet bread (atapa) in a home. This is to tell a bride that food should never run out of the home,” he notes.