When is the right time for children to leave their parents’ bedroom?

What you need to know:

Most parents, especially new parents, always wonder when the right time is to move a toddler out of their bedroom to their own room. Here are some insights.

This is a question that is full of controversy; parents have different views on when it is appropriate for a child to leave his or her parents’ bedroom.
Rosemary Margret Katengeke, a kindergarten teacher at Pearl Africa School, Kabalagala says a child’s psychology develops when a parent least expects it. Some children become so sharp at the age of one or two and that is why you find some of them starting school at an early age.
At that age, the child is able to sing and recite some letters and numbers. Same implies to whatever the child sees around him or her.

“Parents should ensure that their child leaves the bedroom at the age of three to 11 because they are able to know what is taking place, though they may not understand. But with an explanation from an adult or a friend, they are able to clear their curiosity,” says Katengeke.
She says children who are overly exposed to adult content, should leave the bedroom immediately they turn three because at this age, the child can speak and connect the incidents that they watch on TV or even those they hear the adults speak about in their presence.

However, Katengeke says it is a complicated matter that a parent has to make the decision basing on their child’s intelligence and thinking capacity.
Terah Ngobi, a father of one, says a child’s mindset depends on the environment it lives in; some children may mature fast, depending on what they see, hear and watch.
According to him, a child should leave the bedroom at the age of four not less, because a child below that age is too young to take care of themselves.

Exceptional cases
“As a parent, you may focus on sending your child out of the bedroom but you do not think of the consequences that may come with it. At that tender age children need to be monitored throughout the night to make sure that they are properly covered in warm beddings in order to prevent illnesses that come as a result of the cold,” says Ngobi.
He adds that you can only separate a room with your child if there is someone who will sleep with them or if you are able to frequent their room to make sure that they are properly covered and the mosquito net is intact.

Ngobi argues that a child who is handled in line with his or her age can be able to spend a long time in his or her parents’ bedroom because they have limited knowledge on what happens between adults in the bedroom and such a child will not be curious about every act that takes place between his or her parents.
It all starts with a parent restricting the content their children watch, even the cartoons the children watch should be regulated. Not all cartoons are meant for children, there are also those with adult content.
The company your child surrounds herself with may also influence a parent’s decision when it comes to the separation of the bedroom.

Advice from the parents
Ms Katengeke says the movies children who sleep with their parents watch should not contain adult content, adding that parents should get to know their children so that they can tell if it is the right time to let the child leave their bedroom.
“This means you should have a personal relationship with your child,” she says.
Mutuwa says if parents cannot separate rooms, at least they should find a separate bed for their child so as to avoid inconveniencing or corrupting the child’s mind.
She says parents who have no option but share rooms with their children should make sure that their children are not present when they need to dress up or have their private time.
Ngobi says parents should also get to know the friends their children associate with because it is from their conversation that you can get to know if the child seriously needs to leave the parents’ bedroom.
“In case you live in an environment that can easily corrupt your child’s mind, for example slums and rentals, make your child busy at all times so that they do not get time to go to the neighbourhood,” says Ngobi.

Case of single rooms

Annet Mutuwa, a market vendor and mother of three, says she can only afford a small house and the one she lives in is a single room.
“Even though I live in such a house, my children never see my nakedness and never know what is going on between their father and I because I partitioned my house with plywood. This means that I have my room and a room that is enough for them because they sleep on a triple decker,” says Mutuwa
She says it is very bad for a child to see their parent’s nakedness because it is a curse that she would not want her children to live with.
For her case, a child stops sharing a bed with her parents at the age of two. This, she decided after a shameful event that occurred to her.

“We were in the village at the burial of my elder brother when my first child who was four years at that time started imitating what happens in my bedroom and my sister threw a mean comment regarding the issue” says Mutuwa.
It is at that point that she understood that the child had to leave their bedroom and sleep in a separate room.
She says parents should stop putting the blame on the small rooms they have because there is always a solution to every problem.
She puts a strong blame on parents who share beds with their children.

Effects
According to Katengeke, incidences where parents dress up in front of the infants thinking they are too young to understand are very wrong - she says under no circumstance should a child see a parent’s nudity because the image will always remain in the child’s mind.
“Such a child grows up with immoral behaviour of looking at naked people with a thought of nothing is wrong with that” she says.
Katengeke says some children become bad influence to their friends because of the too much exposure, in that when they come together with other children, they want to put what they know into practice.
That act will make the child feel unwanted in a place, which is not good for them. To avoid this, bedrooms should be the starting point of everything.