Turning the page after sexual abuse

Marvin Galiwango’s aunt introduced him to the sex world at the age of eight. The now 20-year-old recalls finding his aunt stripped naked. Then a Primary Two pupil, she held him by hand and dragged him to the bedroom.

“She undressed me and told me to lie on her. I didn’t know what she intended to do. She warned me never to share it to anyone or else she would kill me,” Galiwango recalls.

From that day, Galiwango started sharing the bedroom with his aunt. This was in exchange for food, clothes and scholastic materials as she would ask him to choose between sleeping with her and going hungry.

Haunted by nightmares
“Sometimes she could command me to sleep on her before giving me lunch or supper,” he says. Galiwango was so tormented that he would often dream of his aunt raping him. The sleeping predicaments were accompanied by the feeling of unworthiness, fear of people, and withdraw from others.

Ali Male, a psychologist at YMCA, says a parent can know that a child has been abused or molested when they display pain during urination, irregular bowel movement, bleeding, difficulty walking, sitting, standing and self-induced injuries such as cutting and burning.

“A sexually abused child usually gets involved in sexually-related issues. He or she may entice siblings for sexual activities even though they do not understand what they are doing,” Male says.

Becoming a bad influence
By the time Galiwango completed Primary Six, the effects had intensified. His sexual desire was beyond his control as he could use money for lunch to entice girls. He would also teach his peers sexual activity.

His regrettable moment was when he had sex with a woman almost thrice his age. She was his neighbour and the duo could often crack sex-related jokes.
“I felt like having sex one afternoon and she was the only woman around. I entered her house and we had sex,” he narrates.

Male says a sexually abused or molested child can become a sex pest as the desire for sex increases as the child grows. Such children should be identified and rehabilitated early enough. “A child can use all the means possible to have sex. They sometimes inflict pain on peers, relatives or siblings,” he says.

Galiwango’s school mates were not spared. He could convince girls with school fees. He often missed exams for sex. Girls would trust him yet his motive was always to have sexual satisfaction.

Galiwango eventually dropped out of school after he failed to regain the school fees he had wasted on girls. In 2014, he went to his home village in Kayunga where he shared his woes with a family friend who was also a church pastor. The pastor offered him physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual counselling and later introduced him to Godfrey Rehabilitation centre.

Turning a new page
Galiwango, who has just completed his rehabilitation process, attributes his problems to his parents for not being close to him which left him to suffer at the hands of his aunt whom he now describes as a devil.

Galiwango now uses his experience to guide and counsel his peers at Godfrey Rehabilitation Centre. In August, he joined dozens of youth to campaign against pornography, and other sexually-related abuses in Kampala suburbs.

Watch out for signs of abuse

Godfrey Kutesa, a rehabilitator of victims of sexual abuse, drugs and sexual addictions, says Galiwango’s situation is common but few parents have taken time to critically assess children who live with relatives.

Kutesa reveals that an abused child portrays symptoms such as behavioural regression that include bed wetting, stranger unease, distress eating, changes in appetite, nightmares, and trouble sleeping.

Sexual abuse or molestation involves touching genitals, playing sexual games, tongue-kissing or kissing in a sexual way, rubbing against child’s body or clothing in an intimate way and oral genital or breast contact.

“The child may not be courageous enough to disclose to a stranger. But they would reveal to a parent if he or she is close them. It is easy to notice changes in behaviour,” Kutesa says.
He says child molestation also include taking pornographic images, making a child model pornography.

This counsellor reveals that the victim may display fear, excessive crying, feeding, pulling out from loved ones, feeling reprehensible, ill-treating others, fear of periodic attack, depression, doing poorly in school, immoral activity, drug and alcohol abuse
“Some children become belligerent. They may run away from home. Some have suicidal thoughts,” he says.

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