What it means to be pregnant and homeless

My name is * Winnie Nakato*. I am a 15 -year-old Rwandan who has lived in Uganda all my life. My mother died when I was only nine months and I only met my father last year. So, there is little I know about parental love.
I was raised by an uncle and his wife in Kyankwanzi. Life was not easy because I was beaten for every little mistake I made. I had no one else to turn to because that was the only family I knew.

When I turned three, my uncle took me to Help and Equip Evangelist Disciples (HEED) in Mubende, an organisation that helps orphans.
Here I found love, Aunt Irene was a very sweet woman she carried us, played with us, and acted as our parent. Not even once did I miss home because what HEED gave me was a real home.

Ray of hope
The organisation enrolled me and other children at Alpha and Omega Nursery and Primary School in Busabala in Kampala.
The organisation rented for us a house in Luzira with matrons on hand to take care of us.
After sitting for Primary Leaving Examinations, I joined Ebenezer International High school in Mubende, under HEED, in 2013.

The school got me a sponsor who paid for my tuition.
The sponsor had promised to take care of me until I completed university.
My dream was to study hard and become a lawyer. I did not want to disappoint my sponsor. I remember the sleepless nights I spent while revising for tests and exams.
Students called me names but I did not mind because I knew my goal.

Tumbling down
All my dreams got shattered the day I went to my uncle’s home for holidays. My uncle had died so it was only his wife and my cousins who were there. When I reached their home, they welcomed me with hugs and kisses. We talked at length considering I had not seen them in a long time.
The following day when everyone had gone about their business, my elder cousin, Moses, called me to his room. I did not even give it a second thought when I closed the door behind me.

As soon as I closed the door, he jumped from his bed, like a possessed man, and held me against the door. It all seemed surreal, he threw me on his bed. I realised it was serious when he ripped my skirt. I tried to shout in vain.
Moses did to me something I hate remembering, the pain I experienced and all the blood I lost. I remembered how I confidently put up my hand when Aunt Irene asked for virgins in class. But all that pride was lost.

No one to turn to
Moses never had any sympathy and even promised to cut my throat if I said anything to anyone.
When aunt came back later in the evening, I ran to her in tears and told her how her son has deprived me of my pride, she immediately pushed me a way saying her son can never do such “nonsense”.
Left with no option, I went back to school. After three consecutive months of missing my periods, I knew I was pregnant. I was tensed and did not know what to do.

I wanted to kill myself. I saw my dreams flying away from me yet there was little I could do to change it. How was I going to face Aunt Irene? I asked for permission from school and went home to tell aunt about it. The moment she saw me, she sternly asked me what I wanted in her home.
When I told her I was pregnant for her son, she chased me away and told me never to return to her home. She did not even allow me to sit down even for a moment.
It was during this period that I met my dad whom I narrated everything to. He reported the matter to Bukwiri Police Station in Kyankwanzi unfortunately my aunt foiled everything.

The aftermath
Moses escaped to Rwanda. I decided to go back to Aunt Irene and narrate my bitter experience.
She was touched by my ordeal and together with the administrators, they sent me to Wakisa Ministries. I am seven months pregnant.
Life is good here and Mama Vivian is the best person I have seen. I feel blessed to have been brought here since I am with girls who are in the same condition as myself.
I have not figured out where I will take the baby after delivery but I believe God will give me wisdom.

I despise Moses for ruining my future because while he is lounging scot-free, I am homeless and have no one to run to. I will love my child because she will be the only family I have.
If it is a girl, I will call her “Patience” because it is through patience that I have made it this far.
I wish the government could impose a death penalty to all those “monsters” who rape and defile young girls, most especially taking advantage of the poor ones.
I know if this was done, such cases would reduce greatly.

**Names have been changed to protect the identity of the victim.

Help for sexual assault victims

Every person who has been sexually violated responds differently to the crime - some become depressed while others become angry. All emotions are fair responses to a rape or sexual assault. Here are a list of tips for talking to a rape victim.
Road to recovery
If you have been the victim of a rape or sexual assault, you may not know how to feel normal again. You may feel that the emotional pain of a rape or sexual assault will never go away. You may feel shame, depression, anxiety and fear after the attack. No matter how you feel, know that things will become better, you will learn to heal, and life will go on in your new normal.

Physically
Seek medical attention - even if you do not want to take the case to the police, you must be seen by a doctor to receive care for any injuries and to be tested (and receive treatment) for any sexually transmitted infections.

Even though you may have the intense desire to shower, before showering go see a doctor so he or she can collect evidence to try and convict your rapist.
Even if you do not want to press charges right away, you may change your mind later.
Chances are, your rapist has or will attack someone else. This evidence could be the difference between a conviction and another rape.

Do not throw away or wash the clothes you were wearing at the time of attack. Place them in a bag to take to the police.
Emotionally
You are not alone, one out of every six women and one out of every 33 men, have been the victim of a rape.
Remind yourself that every person responds differently to a sexual assault. The feelings, range from depression, humiliation, fear, confusion, anger, numbness, guilt, and shame.

Additional report from www.bandbacktogether.com