What it means to be 19 and separated from your husband

What you need to know:

Rose Kansiime, 19, is a housewife in Kisakara, Kihuura, Kyenjojo District. She has been married for three years, but she is far from happy. Her marriage has brought her more loneliness than companionship. She shares her story.

When I got married, I thought it was all about being there for one another. But my husband being a hawker in Kampala has robbed me of that. He stays away from home for more than two months and I have no one to talk to, save staring at the blank walls.
My nearest neighbours are about 200 metres away. My human contact is limited. It is usually my in-law, Gertrude Tusingwiire, who regularly checks on me to help with housework.
I never used to get fits but this has changed ever since my pastor prayed for me.

Whenever I get lonely, I call my husband on the mobile phone he left for me. It is also the same phone I use to reach out to the pastor or relatives to pray with me.
The fits usually worry me. I never experienced such attacks. It was when I got married that they started. I got married at the age of 16, after dropping out of school. I was in Primary Six. I suspect people in this village may have done something to make me sick.

Triggers
Probably things would have been different if I was living elsewhere. I live in my father in-law’s house. Although my mother in-law does not live around, it is still different.
Whenever I cook food, I have my meals up the mango tree which is within the compound.
I am comfortable up there because of the cool breeze. Besides that, it is lonely eating from the house. You can even hear a pin drop.
At least with my young sister around, I do not feel very lonely. Some people suggested that I go for counselling and medical screening but I do not see the need. The prayers I get are what has sustained me.
I thank God that the LCI chairman, Silvano Katuramu, and the deputy resident district commissioner, Isaac Kawonawo, visited me recently.

A counsellor’s take
Irene Lindah, a counsellor in Kabarole District, advises Kansiime to get counselling before the problem gets out of hand. “You can feel her fear. She believes that when she climbs a tree she is safer. It is obvious she is missing her husband and that is why she gets panic attacks.”
Lindah faults religious leaders for not giving her wise counsel. “She is troubled and all these pastors are telling her is she is under demonic attack. This indoctrination brings the false visions and she gets convulsions.”

However, all is not lost because she can still get help. Lindah says, “She needs a lot of counselling. The couple needs to come up with a plan where they can have regular contact hours. At 19, she is too young to stay in the house alone, fear must come to her.”
This, she believes, will be the antidote to the hysterical fits that Kansiime gets.