I fancy very tough women; lionesses

TAMALE MIRUNDI: He confesses to Joseph Ssemutooke that he has been heartbroken only once in his life, and shares more about the kind of men he would never let near his daughters.

Everyone knows you and describes you their own way. Describe yourself?
I am a tough man, a man every one fears, a man who can quarrel and fight. I am also a self-made man who fought my way from absolute poverty into the privileged class. I am very unique, I started talking at six months and my father wanted to throw me away but my mother refused.
We want you to talk heart issues today. What is your definition of a beautiful woman?

For me, a beautiful woman is one who is intelligent, full of ideas, and very tough. Just like my two wives. They are lionesses, because to handle a lion you must be a lioness. I don’t like submissive and weak women.
Too much toughness! What’s the craziest thing you have done for love?
Nothing. I understood women when I was young, and ever since, I have never tried to outdo myself in the name of showing them love. I’m always calculative and sober with them.
You sound like a man who has been heartbroken by women so many times.
Not at all. I’ve been heartbroken by a woman only once in my life and that was when I was still a young boy. There is no way that will ever happen again.
Tell us about that moment you were heartbroken.
I was in Senior Three and this girl, the mother of my firstborn, was in Senior Two. I was crazy in love with her, made her pregnant and wanted to marry her. But her wealthy father couldn’t let her marry a poor boy like me, so he took her away to London and soon married her off to another man. She was the only girlfriend I knew, and I refrained from relationships for many years after that.
Is it that disappointment that made you so cautious with women?
Not that alone. After that experience, I began to study women and I came to understand them (their weaknesses and strengths) and to realise one needs to be cautious with them. As I have always read the Bible, I realised that a mere snake which can’t talk tricked a woman into a mistake. I also learnt that women are perfect liars and can even make you raise another man’s child thinking it is yours. I also learnt that if a woman is beautiful, you aren’t the only one seeing her beauty.
You don’t seem to regard women that highly. Anything you admire about them?

Don’t misunderstand me. I only understand women, but I actually like and respect them a lot. For example, I like the fact that women are wiser and cleverer than us men. In homes, they bring in more people. In making decisions, they are always more calculative and plan ahead. They are also kind and truly loving.
Now, what precisely don’t you like about women?

I cannot think of anything that would cut across to include all women. But there are certain types of women I detest. For example, the ones who devalue themselves by sleeping around with every one, like some of these musicians do. I also detest a woman who overexposes her body. A woman shouldn’t be like a goat, which has nothing to cover its important parts.
Which women entertainers are you a fan of?
I like women who are talented and also respect themselves by living with good morales. I am a fan of Joanita Kawalya, Mariam Ndagire, Betty Mpologoma and Annet Nandujja, among others.
What is your opinion on the institution of marriage today?
It has been spoilt because love between partners is no longer the most important thing. People enter marriages only looking to grab from a partner and satisfy themselves without minding the other much.
So you want to tell us that you married your two wives for love alone, just for that magical feeling you would get when you saw them or spent time with them?
When I say marriage shouldn’t be entered as a business venture, I again don’t mean that it should be exclusively about a feeling you have about someone. It should be between people who are friends with each other, who understand each other, are compatible, jointly care about each other. Then you will find sharing material things is inevitable, but not the primary basis. Personally, my wives invested in me when I was a young man in my 30s, because we were friend.
You have daughters. What sort of man would you like to marry your daughter to?
An intellectual man with ideas. He doesn’t have to be rich or very educated, because you can have money today and tomorrow you don’t. He should just be a wise person who clearly can think critically and has a commendable plan for his life.
And what sort of man wouldn’t you give your daughter to?

A ‘Mengoist’. If he is a member of Nkobazambogo, a blind fanatic for kingdom issues which ideally will not benefit him much…I would just chase him out of my home.

Who is Tamale Mirundi?
Tamale Mirundi has been the spokesman of President Yoweri Museveni since 2003. He has over the time curved out for himself the reputation of a man who will say anything to defend the President, along the way winning as many admirers as enemies and leaving no one in the middle. He was born in Matale village, Rakai District as the ninth child of Molly and the late Tamale Mirundi. His mother is not sure of the year of his birth, but reckons it was between 1960 and 1964. He came to Kampala in 1979 for secondary school, and began writing for Munno newspaper in 1981 while in Senior Three at Rubaga S.S. He graduated with a degree in Mass Communication from Makerere University. In 1998, he left Munno to start his own two newspapers, The Voice and Lipoota, but the newspapers failed to pick up.