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Marry only when financially stable

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Margret Amongin and Tony Tumukunde on their wedding day. Photo/Courtesy

“Tonny was young, loved and well-known by everyone at the university. I had my doubts and thought he would disappoint me and marry someone else,” says Margret Amongin Okalo.

As an adult, butterflies in your stomach, and a racing heartbeat are some of your body’s subtle clues that you are falling in love. But although this is the case for many couples, it was not so for Margret and Tonny Tumukunde who met as first-year law students and became very close friends. For Margret especially, there was a lot of doubt about Tonny’s intentions.

This is why from the beginning, Tonny set out to erase Margret’s doubts, always reminding her that he wanted her for a wife.

“Even on our first date, I was so sure she was the one and I told her so. I told her no one else would ever love her as I do,” he says, adding that from that day on, he made sure his words were always followed by actions.

“I was quick to apologise whenever I wronged her even if it meant apologising ten times a day. I would also give her some space and time to calm down,” he adds.

Falling in love

The love birds met on January 9, 2011, at Uganda Christian University in Mukono District. While other couples might meet in a lecture hall, it was magical for Tonny and Margret.

“We met at a fountain near the University’s main gate. I was attracted to her simplicity right from the start and she says she was impressed by my humility and charm,” the couple says.

Margret, unlike most young women, kept most activities the couple undertook simple and cost-effective. For example, she would always agree to go out for lunch or dinner dates at the restaurants near the university, where food was affordable. Tonny recollects their first date, which he says was so simple but memorable.

“We went to Chilies Restaurant near Bishop Stage in Mukono. It was Valentine’s Day, barely a month after our first meeting. Margret was so calm and undemanding and all I needed was about Shs30,000 for two plates of chicken and chips and soda,” he says, adding that surprisingly, Margret was so happy with the arrangement, very understanding that they were still both students and trying to make ends meet.

Proposal

Eight years of dating had led to this moment.  Tonny, who was almost graduating from the Law Development Centre, decided to propose to Margret who had just finished the legal bar test in Nairobi, Kenya.

However, because she was already working in Nairobi, he had to find a way of making her come back to Uganda. So, when all other ways failed, he lied, telling her he was to attend an important birthday party and needed her company.

Because he was busy finalising his assessments at law school, he needed help organising the proposal so he asked his good friend Mike Kirungi to help him out.

“We had to rush out of the Individual Assessment Test just to make it in time for the proposal at Nanjing Hotel, Lugogo Bypass, Kampala,” he says.

At first, he shares, Margret was frightened by the fact that the room was filled with friends, something she did not expect.

“I was surprised and scared, but I had to compose myself and say yes,” she says, adding that being the gentleman he is, Tonny offered to pay all the bills so his guests could enjoy the party.

Wedding

Before setting a wedding date, Tonny wanted to first honour his mother who had worked hard to take care of him. 

“I purposed to only wed my wife after building a decent home for my mother,” he shares, adding that he was happy his mother was gifted a home the same day he married his sweetheart.

The soulmates exchanged vows on April 27, 2019, at Discipleship Ministries led by Pastor Emmanuel Faith and later hosted their guests at a colourful reception in Kaliro Village at his mother’s new home.

The groom sought out service providers from Kampala who he says did not disappoint. He shares profound memories of his wedding as he was impressed by the turnout and his friends were excited to visit his country home.

“I was glad when my parents for the first time after 20 years of separation were cordial to each other, happy that their son was getting married. So, we had both paternal and maternal guests from Mitooma and Kamuli districts,” he says.

With a budget of Shs60m, the couple did not have any planning meetings before the wedding as the groom and his mother covered all the costs.

Love for adventure

The lovebirds say they are intentional about making their relationship work.

“Every year in April, we go on vacation as a way of keeping our love fresh and exciting. Nowadays, we are also able to enjoy most of the things we could not afford as a struggling couple with no money,” the couple says, adding that Margret always picks the destinations and plans the trips.

“Every place I have chosen is usually well thought out to leave a lasting impression,” she says.

The couple looks back to their visit to Batu Caves in Kuala Lumpar, saying, “While there, it felt as though we had just met and fell in love once again.”

However, while at it, they ensure they are realistic with their budgets and urge couples not to follow the unrealistic standards they watch on television but instead, plan together and work within their means.

Advice

The couple advises those planning their wedding ceremonies to be well prepared.

“In order not to stress your family and friends, plan and have some of the money and other requirements needed,” they say.

They also believe that relationships require mutual understanding. Therefore, know what your partner hates and likes and make a personal decision to make them happy in whatever you do.

They say the secret to a lasting relationship is knowing God.

“Any struggles in a marriage can be resolved by seeking the wisdom of God who is the author of every marriage. The partners must also engage parents and marriage counsellors,” the couple says.