Our love has triumphed over sickness, cultural differences

Right from the start, David Ssentongo and Janet Magdalene Nyapendi faced challenges in their relationship.  Although they had no issues with being from different ethnicities, David’s family had their reservations about his choice.

Being a Muganda from Lubanyi, Buikwe District, David’s family questioned why he was so intent on marrying a Japadhola from Tororo in eastern Uganda.

While Janet’s family was welcoming, David says he had to continuously explain to his family members why Janet was the one.

But he stood his ground, explaining to them that although their approval was important, a marriage was between two people. He had chosen Janet and was willing to do anything possible to make them see how beautiful, disciplined and hardworking she was. To him, she would make the perfect wife and he wanted his family to also look beyond her tribe and fall in love with her many favourable qualities.

Meanwhile, David was welcomed with open arms by Janet’s parents.

“The moment David visited my parent’s home, he became their first born and I, the second born. In our journey, my parents loved and supported us in all aspects from that time,” Janet says.

However, with the pressure from her in-laws, Janet had to work extremely hard to prove to them that she was the right woman for their son.

“When the pressure about my tribe started settling, my in-laws also pointed out their dissatisfaction with my education levels. They said I was too educated and since David and I were almost the same age, they thought I would not be submissive,” she says, adding that her mother-in-law was also not comfortable with her small size.

Janet took everything to God through prayer. She hoped that someday, she would win her in-laws over, something that did not come easy.

However, as the Bible says, faith without works is dead. To prove her worth, Janet went out of her way to cultivate a healthy relationship with her mother-in-law.

“I started buying her gifts, checking on her more often and visiting whenever I could. This helped us bond and with time, she even started confiding in me,” Janet says, adding that currently, her mother-in-law believes in her so much that she always asks for her opinion on pertinent issues. 

The chase

As it is for a man to keep luring the woman he loves, David enjoyed the chase. He was more than willing to sweep Janet off her feet.

“We met at Makerere University in 2013 where we were both pursuing a Bachelors of Science in Agriculture,” he says.

Although they started out as friends, with time, David developed romantic feelings for Janet. He says although his feelings for her were overwhelming, he remained tight lipped at first, especially since Janet was not as interested in a relationship as he was.

“She exhibited all the characters I wanted in a girlfriend and later, a wife. She was humble, calm and caring. I did not want to lose her so at the end of our course, I decided to make my intentions known,” he says.

He tried to woo her by asking her out on dates to some of her favourite places but she would always turn down his invites. David knew that maybe she was conflicted because other men were also declaring their love for her.

He took matters in his own hands and one day he told her he wanted them to marry her and gave her time to think about it.

Proposal

During a birthday party for Janet’s roommate in October, 2017, David was invited. He used this chance to sit down with Janet tell her how he felt. Although she had never paid keen interest in David, on this day, she was smitten by his intelligence, honesty and humility.

“We talked for hours. It was so easy to talk to him and I found myself sharing so much about myself. I learnt so much from him,” she says.

“At the end of the party I told her I was leaving for a study trip to Ghana for three months but would love to marry her when I returned,” David says.

Janet says their marriage proposal was more of a conversation; there was no ring, no roses and nothing pompous about it.

“We simply dated, cultivated our love and worked towards formalising our relationship,” she says, adding that because they were friends for a long time, they had learnt each other’s likes, dislikes, weaknesses and how to support each other, which helped them get along easily even after getting married.

Wedding

After their introduction ceremony on November 25, 2023 in Tororo, on December 29, 2023, the love birds exchanged vows at Gayaza Live Christian Centre Church in a colourful wedding ceremony officiated by Bishop Robert James Kakande. Thereafter, the newlyweds hosted about 250 guests to a reception at Green Field Gardens in Kanyanya, Kampala.

The couple believe good planning played a vital role in ensuring their functions were a success.

“We made announcements as early as four months ahead for both the functions and gave ourselves almost 100 days to plan and make all the necessary reservations,” the couple says.

With an estimated budget of about Shs50m for both functions, only a third of that they reveal was covered by family and friends.

To manage the budgets, they delegated three different committees to everything went on smoothly.

“During the preparations, we had a central committee of close friends, a family-led committee and another at our local church which was supportive and trustworthy,” the couple says.

They advise those preparing to wed to budget within their means.

“We knew there would be no miracle money so we were not extravagant while budgeting,” they say, adding that although they that friends and family would support them, the biggest part of the budget would fall on them as a couple.

Challenges

David reveals that even while dating, he was always worried about Janet’s frequent ill health. And when they got married, his wife’s deteriorating health affected their relationship but David was determined to help his wife get the needed treatment and nurse her back to health.

 “I am thankful that her health is now better which has given us a chance to nurture our relationship and continue to grow as a married couple,” David says.

With perfect health, the couple reminisces on the good times spent together.

“We have travelled to several destinations together but our best trip thus far was to Dubai in the United Arab Emirates where we enjoyed the roller coaster and desert safari,” the couple says.

Advice

For any relationship to be successful, the Ssentongo’s believe partners must be patient with each other and work hard to make the relationship work.

“Know you are in a relationship with that person and their personality so it is always important to find a way of accommodating and dealing with those character traits that may not be favourable,” the couple says.

They preach love and not hate in bridging the gap, saying couples must read the Bible and learn from scripture that emphasise forgiveness, impartiality and strength.

“Also, invest in understanding your partner’s culture and embrace it,” they tip.