The Othienos: 10 years of marital bliss

Anitah Mugisha and John Othieno, who have been married for 10 years, met at Makerere University as students in 2009. Anitah was pursuing a Bachelor of Arts in Education while John a degree in Software Engineering.

St Francis Chapel, Makerere, provided ground for them to meet often during fellowships such as the ushering group, cell group and Kigezi Ankole Anglican Youth Missioners (KAAYM).  Anitah recalls John always being among the first people at the venue and the last one out after helping to put everything back in its place.

In their second year, Anitah started noticing a change in how John would take care of her. For example, he would call to ensure she had reached safely when the fellowship ended late.

However, it never crossed her mind that he was romantically interested in her.  During an outing organised by their fellowship group, John, who had already developed feelings for Anitah, was encouraged when he discovered that she was still single. This gave him the courage to ask her out on a date.

“Further interactions revealed Anitah’s admirable qualities that resonated deeply with me. She was very sincere, principled, and with genuine simplicity. I appreciated her commitment to her faith and her beauty,” John shares, adding that since they were almost done with their university studies, he sought a partner who would not complicate his life but rather, enhance it with commitment and love for God and Anitah embodied this.

“During one of the missions at the end of the semester in Western Uganda, we visited her home in Kanungu District and met her father. This gave me the courage and hope that I would one day return to the same home to officially talk to Anitah’s parents about our relationship,” he says.

Dating

But Anitah wanted to focus on her studies,  and whenever John suggested they start dating, she would find an excuse. This was until their final year when John asked her to give him a clear “yes or no.”

From her mother’s teachings, Anitah had learnt early on the importance of self-worth. Raised in an environment that valued integrity, she did not settle for superficial affection or lavish gifts. Her approach to love was deliberate, requiring a suitor to prove their sincerity beyond surface appearances.

“I wanted to first pray and think about it as I also researched his home background,” Anitah says, adding that because she had observed that John was a committed Christian, caring, hardworking, and persistent in his pursuit, she said yes to their first date which took place at the Papyrus Terrace Restaurant in Kampala.

Anitah says that evening they shared a significant moment of praying together. Holding hands for the first time, she realised the weight of her decision and embraced the path ahead with confidence.

Anitah and John’s courtship helped them discover more about each other’s values and character. Subsequent interactions with John’s family affirmed Anitah’s initial impressions. When John’s mother travelled to Kampala, Anitah noticed she was sincere and welcoming and so were John’s siblings. This encounter reinforced her belief in the sincerity of their relationship.

Throughout their courtship, one principle remained unwavering; their commitment to purity until marriage. This shared conviction formed the foundation of their relationship, instilling a deep sense of trust and confidence in each other. 

In November 2013, John, together with his elder sibling paid a visit to Anitah’s father, where he was given the go-ahead to marry her without asking them to make any other visits as he thought  they would.

“Now that you have come, the next time I want to see you here is for the introduction ceremony,” he said.

Wedding

On May 3, 2014, Anitah and John exchanged their vows before their loved ones at St Francis Chapel, Makerere, a week after Anitah introduced him to family and friends.

 “It was a significant event for the family because I was the first to wed among my siblings. The village came together to celebrate, with abundant food and attention to detail, ensuring a memorable experience for all,” Anitah says.

Since they were getting married immediately after graduating, the couple opted for a modest celebration. With a tight budget and the support of friends and the church community, they crafted a meaningful ceremony that emphasised love.

The couple reduced costs by having their photoshoot at Makerere guest house and the reception at the St. Francis Chapel Community Centre, which were both free of charge.

 The counselling sessions provided by St Francis Chapel proved invaluable in preparing Anitah and John for marriage. Through these sessions, they learnt the importance of understanding and accommodating each other’s habits and preferences. From something as simple as tossing socks to the laundry to more significant challenges of married life.

10 years later

From the onset, Anitah and John’s expectations for their marriage were grounded in simplicity and practicality. This approach allowed them to avoid unnecessary burdens and focus on achievable goals.

“We learnt to work together towards shared aspirations while navigating the challenges that came our way. We welcomed our first child, a daughter, in 2015, just one year into our marriage. Now, as she approaches her ninth birthday, we are blessed with two more unique and wonderful daughters. Each interaction with them brings joy and fulfilment to our lives,” John says.

“Our journey has seen us progress from renting to owning our own home, from walking to driving, and from bachelor’s degrees to master’s degrees. Our hearts are filled with gratitude for the blessings we have received along the way. We look back on our humble beginnings with appreciation, knowing that every step of the journey has been guided by God’s grace,” he adds.

Annitah explains that she does not take their marriage for granted “I treasure and put effort in our marriage.  If there are any good tips of how to make marriage better, I go for them, because I count myself blessed to have met the right person,” she says.

Takeaway

Annitah says it is crucial for couples to always strive to be one, “In our journey, this principle has been central to our relationship. Whether it is buying land or choosing schools for our children, we handle every decision together.

We have learnt the value of kindness and collaboration, understanding that marriage is a partnership, not a competition. Through prayer and mutual respect, we have embraced the journey as one, continually striving to uplift and support each other.”

To strengthen their relationship, the couple always arranges to have their days off at the same time so they can spend time together at home.