Now that Mothers’ Day is well out of the way, I want to let you in on a secret mothers have managed to hide from you. Mothers are human. What? You must be confused now because of all the superhuman abilities your mother has displayed all through your life. But the truth is, they are human just like you. They are made of flesh and bone, which means they do get tired even if you might never have seen them resting.
Their bodies hurt and ache just as yours, even though they always seem to be in perfect health. They certainly do not have all the answers. I know to you, your mother is a trove of so much wisdom and information that you find yourself calling her to fact check information you have read on Wikipedia. You are not alone; as a mother and grandmother, I still think my mother knows more than Google.
Yes, I still call my mother to inquire about what the mole-looking thing growing on my back could be, even though I have access to doctors. The difference between consulting a mother and going to the doctor is even if she does not know what it is; you will get off that call feeling much better. So, I guess that is another superhuman ability, exclusive to mothers.
Of course they do get frustrated, especially when they try their best to point you to the right direction but you insist on going left.
The only reason they do not scream at you as your other parent does is because they possess superhuman patience. Most mothers can do nothing less than love their children with their entire being. This means they will love you and understand you when everyone has given up on you.
Where their children are concerned, mothers are prisoners of hope; they will continue believing and hoping the best for you until they draw their last breath. I know this makes them sound as pushovers, but oh no, they are anything but. Even the most accommodating mother has limits and I pray you never get to the end of that limit, because trust me, it is not pretty.
Yes your mother gets angry too. I believe you have seen a few flares in your lifetime but they do lose it sometimes. Do you remember all those times during a heated argument when she just walked away or told you to leave her alone? That was her trying her best to not inflict permanent damage on you.
Mothers do have commitments too. It is not because they have abundant time that they always showed up at your school events, cooked and cleaned for you. It is simply because they chose to prioritise your needs over theirs. While you came home and slept off your activities of the day, she spent the night trying to catch up on her work reports. Although there she was cheerful and bright making breakfast for you, it is all she could do to keep her eyes open.
To you our daughters, we know we made mothering seem so easy that you find yourself doubting whether you are meant to be a mother. Trust me, it was not easy, but we selfishly chose to hide the difficulties. While we cannot go back in time to change that, we can affirm that you are on the right track; keep doing your best and all will be well.
To our sons, we feel your love and devotion. To you, we are incomparable, irreplaceable; which warms our hearts, but give your partners a chance too. Mothering is instinctual; trust their motherly intuition.
Trying to understand the enigma that is motherhood is an uphill task. Every motherhood journey is as diverse as the people involved but it is journey fuelled by unconditional love and sacrifice. Mothers are happiest when their children thrive, even if this mean they will be completely forgotten, unidentified, and their contribution unrecognised.
Even if I do not claim to know every mother’s heart, but as one of them I know for sure this what they want for you. Do not forget yourself. Honour yourself and your experiences. Do your best at all times and live fruitful lives.
So, while we are grateful for the messages and gifts, the best gift you can give us is seeing you living your best life possible. And also to remember that we are not superhuman; we fail, we make mistakes, we disappoint you; but that is not because we do not care about you, it is because we are human just like you.
