Make use of your early life

On Saturday evening my first born son and I went to trim our hair in a salon I have been to for very many years. As we left the salon for home, one of the guys who has worked there for many years asked me for a lift.

As we drove to home, I think after deep thought, he said, “I have observed you for years even before you married and I can tell you enjoy your life and you have a good relationship with your children.”

I responded that I do not go to the salon to share my problems or challenges that I experience in life. With or without challenges, I decided long time ago generally speaking to have a positive outlook to life.

Since these guys interact with many people daily, I did not want to delve into deeper discussions over the same so I kept quiet just to hear more from him.

I know he is not the only one who thinks that I have a good relationship with my children, especially when they see us chatting and that is something I thank God for.

My children have had the full benefit of a stay-at-home mother, who has invested all energy in raising them. Even during our toughest disagreements that is something I will always thank her for.

Just before our marriage 15 years ago, we agreed that one of us would stay home with the aim of properly looking after the children and when they are grown up, they would join the business full-time, if they wished to do so.

I can easily say, my wife does 90 per cent home stuff and 10 per cent office stuff and for me the reverse is true.
The main reason I had do 90 per cent office work is because by the time we got married, I had run Great Lakes Safaris for more than two years.

I know some of you are already asking yourselves if I would have allowed to be a stay-at-home dad.
One of the main reasons I thought one of us should be a stay-at-home parent is that I did not grow up with my biological parents and I sometimes wish the clock would turn back.

When many young Ugandans ask me about one thing I would change if God gave me an opportunity of starting afresh, I tell them the opportunity of growing up with my own family. That is something I cannot change for myself but I can make it happen for my own children, of course with the creator in control.

Anyway, as we continued driving, the gentleman asked me whether my life would have been the same if I had married while very young. I told him it would not have been the same and I explained why. He said, he is not ready to marry because of the responsibilities that come with running a home.

I thought this was very wise of him but I told him waiting while misusing the resources he has now is completely a wastage of time.

While young, one is like a pilot flying above 32,808 metres high because at that ascent the pilot can easily correct mistakes or has time to figure out where the challenges are. Planes mainly crash while taking off or during landing that is because of the little recovery time in case of any mistake.

Between 18 and 30 years, one has so many opportunities to make mistakes and starting afresh. The older one gets, the less chances they have for recovery and that is why many people that start business after retiring from a job hardly run a business that actually survives.

More than 50 per cent of the people that get their savings with NSSF while above 50 years will have lost all the money received in the first three years. The worst sin a young person can commit is waste those years.
I told that young man that amongst us the Bamasaba after Imbalu, we are expected to marry soon since it is assumed we have become men.

I had my Imbalu done in 1990 on December 12 and I was 17 years old then and in Senior One.
While I thought I was young and had just joined secondary school, I did not expect as much pressure from the village about marriage.

I was even asked to marry a girl in the village as I continued with education and I thought none of these guys is even contributing a single shilling towards my education, why all that pressure?

I remember going to the village and I finding a young lady they had prepared for me to marry. She had done hot comb and I was very innocent at that time.

I saw a girl serving me and I was not really bothered until they broke the news to me. I was in shock and I knew even if they meant well, they did not understand how I hated the pathetic background I had come from.
I resolved that no single person would convince me about taking on a family until I was able to look after one.