We can choose to be deliberate

On Wednesday February 21, my son and I left Uganda for Kenya and to be specific, Fairmont Mt, Kenya Safari Club.
The major reason was to attend Shivam Vanayak’s wedding, something I had told him I would do because he is a very special person. We were to catch up with some motocross friends in Kenya. My children riding motocross has been a very big advantage, especially when it comes to networking with other motocross parents across Africa.

They become friends with fellow young riders and the parents have no choice but know each other because the children keep in touch with each other, somehow. Shivam won every medal there was to win in motocross in Kenya and still races for Kenya in different categories. Shivam practices as a dentist for a full time job plus he supplies all of us motocross needs across the region. Gears, oils, bikes, tyres etc. He is an honest operator who could probably survive on motocross supplies alone.

Interestingly, his whole family members are specialists in some medical training, including his grandmother who was present at his wedding. His father and mother are both dentists, just like him and the wife. This family is very deliberate and everybody could see.

Shivam and Wekesa Junior are friends and I, therefore, used the wedding as a bonding opportunity. Plus I wanted Junior to take some lessons about networking from seeing how I do it. I actually asked him about the lessons and he articulated what he learnt.

This was the first Indian wedding I was attending thus I was curious. The only bit that was troubling me was the dress code. I mentally struggle dressing up because I love jeans, T-shirts and shorts, generally, I do not like suits.

On arrival, Shivam and his bride were waiting to receive us plus parents from both sides. Our group was introduced to both families and some jokes were exchanged. Shivam says, it is the motocross family and obviously my side of the family.
I later learnt his bride and himself actually welcomed all the 180 guests that attended. Many people flew into Kenya to attend his wedding!

Shivam’s wedding is probably the most unique one I have attended due to the number of days it took. The wedding had already run for two days and we simply participated in the last three days. Each of these had a very different programme but ended up in merry-making. Shivam’s former classmates took charge of many of the responsibilities.

In Ugandan, at weddings, we invite hundreds of people, most of whom we personally do not know, then the bride and groom sit like guests in a classroom arrangement. I think we have so many people who still like the classroom arrangements, reason which in the end has produced many meaningless workshops across the country.

It was not the case here. The bride and groom knew everyone by their names, what they did for work and remembered where they met and reason they kept in touch. People leave our functions without knowing each other. We spend money on these functions but fail to utilise them for growth.

Every morning at the breakfast tables, Shivam and the bride went around chatting with everyone. They joined different tables during meal times and they shared stories about how they met different people. By the end of the three days, I think everyone had met everybody. I regret why I didn’t even take my business cards with me. Even then, I made so many business contacts at his wedding. I thought to myself, how would these guys fail in life? They are very deliberate on things that matter, something I would like to preach to many people I know. For any society to advance, there is need for deliberate action of a critical mass of that same society that leads to growth.

I thought to myself, how won’t all these people support him in his dental practice? How wont they support him in his motocross supplies? Why won’t these guys support each others businesses. Most people that attended owned businesses somehow.
Many of us, of course not all assume that things just happen for anybody of different skin colour.....No, it has nothing to do with skin colour. The successful people of whatever colour skin are very deliberate in how they live life.

The writer is an investment expert — [email protected]