Common Sense: What have our women turned into?

Ladies enjoying alcohol at a concert. From the married to the young campus girls, many women drink bottle after bottle of alcohol like its going out of fashion very soon. FILE PHOTO.

They have evolved from the submissive, caring, obedient, thoughtful, and understanding person into something that would have Frankenstein shudder in his grave. And here is the scary bit; the evolution, going with today’s teen girls, seems to be getting even worse.

You can blame it on the ambiguous crusades like female emancipation, or perhaps the desire to “revenge” on men for all the abuse they have taken from them for centuries, I really have no clue. But what is certain is that a huge section of today’s women don’t in any way mirror their mothers in the basic fundamentals of womanhood and are slowly but surely without knowing it, losing their way.

Go to Just Kicking bar at Kisementi on a Friday or Saturday evening and you will find one familiar scene, women swinging bottle after bottle of alcohol like it’s going out of fashion very soon. That same picture can be found at all bars be it exclusive ones the likes of Equator at Sheraton Hotel, Boda Boda, Cayenne or your local dingy pub.

The women that binge drink, vary from the married to the young campus girls. You find a 21-year-old girl calmly telling you, “For me to get drunk, I have to first down like 13 bottles.” Don’t you pity the fellow that will try and find a wife in someone who reaches a high after downing close to a crate of beer?

You find in these classy bars, mothers who on leaving their work stations, head straight to the bar. Their frequency at these bars is so impressive that the waiters there don’t even bother asking them their orders. They know them like the back of their hand. Don’t you pity the husband and children of that lot?

It’s not only the drinking though; the situation is much worse than that. Bump into a man whose wife earns more than him and you would get a tale of psychological abuse that will have you swearing to yourself that as a man, you either get rich or die trying if you want sanity and respect in your marriage. Innuendos, intimidation and disrespect from the “rich wife” will be your daily company. Ask her for money for petrol and you will be shot down mercilessly with replies like “Banange even petrol money you don’t have? And you call yourself a man.”

Then, there those women who are more callous in their treatment of their husbands. Have a small tiff with her and she jumps into her Rav4 and off she speeds to work leaving you at home. Later during the day, there will not be any phone call from her, or email to you trying to get to the bottom of the earlier tiff. No. Rather the option will be silence from her that will go on for days, accompanied with a grumpy face.

If you are lucky, that grumpy face and silence will be the only torment you will face. But there are a growing number of women who take the punishment a dangerous step further. They cheat as a means to get back to their husbands. They will go through the whole routine of skipping office lunch and heading off to a lodge with anyone that’s not their husband and do the dirty. The scary bit is these women have children, never miss church on Sunday, come from well-respected families, hold powerful positions in the corporate world and carry a facade with their immediate friends and family as to how their marriage is so blissful. In other words, they are cunning and cold like a contract killer. That is today’s kind of wife.

What has brought on all that? My quick guess would be the changing times. Decades ago, women were literally stepped upon by society. They were denied everything, from education to even marrying men of their choice. But as times have changed so has society opened up towards women. It has been slow but gradual. Now you can see women with opportunities and choices.

However, all that has gotten many drunk. All that has made them believe that they are superman and superwoman all rolled up in one and nothing is beyond their reach. So you find that if a husband wants to take their child to Kitante Primary School but the wife wants Greenhill Academy, the wife will do whatever it takes to get her way which in itself is not wrong. What is wrong, are the methods she uses. If she earns more than the husband, she will retort to her husband’s insistence of Kitante Primary with, “If you can’t afford the school fees, you tell me. For me I will pay.” Why say that honestly? Where is the wife in you?

What women don’t know is that,that kind of confrontational behaviour erodes away the respect a man needs to have, to be a better husband. The lack of submission sets a stage for constant argument. Yes we men can be dogs, but if you too decide to be a dog then nothing will get done. Ladies please listen up; a man needs to believe that he is the head of the house and captain of the ship. Make him believe that way even if you disagree with his position and I promise you not only will you get your way, he will be eating from the palm of your hand!


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