All you need is tough love sometimes

Saturday February 9 2019

Min Atek

Min Atek 

By Min Atek

When we got to the learning centre he was so upset he was about to break into tears. I told him my decision was not subject to debate and his upset demeanour attracted one of the teachers’ attention.
When she enquired what was wrong, his mother explained that the young man was upset because mother had previously informed him that he was going to have to take himself back home.

“What?” She laughed heartily, “You mean you cannot take yourself back home? Such a simple task? I will help and walk you to the taxi so you do not have to feel so terrified.” The teacher then proceeded to show him a little girl of about half his age who took herself home moreover for a much longer distance.
Recently I read about a father who had been telling his son about having an orderly room. As is typical in my house, the bedrooms are never organised. You are lucky if the beds are laid while anything and everything will be everywhere.

After warning his son repeatedly, the father finally took away his beddings including sheets and the mattress after all the person using them or showing that they appreciated or cared for them. The young man was shocked only to discover even his personal items were at risk and that father was serious.
There are many views that arose out of this situation but one key lesson for me was the notion of tough love.

It appears there is a growing breed of parents who are too frightened about exercising tough love to their children and unfortunately it will not be long until the nation bears the consequences of this irrational fear to discipline.
The key question though is at which point is it necessary to exercise tough love to your beloved child? Is it possible that some parents become too extreme and in the toughness they create deep wounds with other related problems? How do we raise independent thinking, all rounded children?

Wisdom teaches that some kind of fire is necessary for the purification process of all precious jewels. That simply means a child must be allowed or rather taught some elements of discipline and allowed to face their actions with related consequences? The key question again is at which point is the fire enough?