Baby sleep time

Saturday July 6 2019


By Mark Kawalya

So babies are really cool. They are cuddly; they smell nice (most of the time) and generally are peaceful human beings. Did you know that it is impossible to have a disagreement with a baby? Sometimes I think given the chance, babies would take over the world.

Now as much I hold these sentiments about babies, I think a time comes when the baby should be put to sleep so that you can have some alone time. You know do adult things like playing video games, watching stand up comedy etcetera.

But if you have a baby in the house, you probably have realized that they don’t often sleep when you want them to. This is where I come in, to save the day and stuff. Today I’m going to give you some tips on putting a stubborn baby to sleep.

First thing you need to do is feed the baby. Can you go to bed when you are hungry? I bet you cannot. Well neither can a baby. Make sure the baby has dined sumptuously. If you miss this step, nothing else that this baby guru teaches you will work. Oh remember to burp the baby; you know to remove any air molecules in the baby.
After this, take the baby to his room. Draw the curtains if its day time and turn off the lights if its at night. When the room is dark, the baby will not be distracted by fancy looking brightly coloured toys. It is impossible to put a baby to sleep that is eyeing a lime green plastic dinosaur.

Do not stand still in the room, walk around while rubbing the babies back. Everyone likes a free massage and babies are not any different. Also walking around makes the baby think they are in a moving car. Haven’t you realized that driving around with a baby makes them sleep? Well same philosophy here. Since you cannot bring the car into the room to drive the baby in, you have to become the car. Or at least pretend to be one.

If the baby hasn’t started nodding off, then sing for the baby. Do this if you are gifted with a good voice. If you like are like me and cannot differentiate singing from screeching, then do not attempt to sing. You don’t want to shock the baby.


Instead play soft music on your phone. If the baby hasn’t slept after ten minutes then your baby needs to be investigated by the police. The issue is with the babyand not the baby guru’s tips.