Sail through 2019

Saturday January 12 2019

Mark Kawalya

Mark Kawalya 

By Mark Kawalya

So 2018 might have left you running for dear life, battered and bruised, like you fell off a speeding boda boda, but not to worry in 2019 you shall succeed. The old year also almost had me for lunch but I always landed on my feet like the indomitable Tibetan Feline, despite being flung around like a rag doll. The following are strategies we can use so that we can eat 2019 with a large spoon.

Make that paper
It may be true that money may not make you happy, but it certainly will enhance the quality of your existence. So it does make sense to make as much paper as you possibly can, legally I should add. Do not be going around peddling Crystal Meth claiming this columnist told you to make that paper. I will blatantly deny you. I under no circumstances will be an accomplice to crimes I had nothing to do with.

Don’t sweat the small stuff
This is an actual thing that will let you sail over the clouds of 2019. If your car is scratched, do not fret, it happens to any Kampala driver. If your boss sends a brash email with all the company big Kahuna’s copied in, make yourself some herbal tea and sing Macarena to yourself. Silence is the key ingredient to handling stressful situations. Do not engage at all. Be that wise dummy that simply keeps quiet.

Don’t over party
Over partying while may be fun to engage in but it drains you of your common sense and your wallet. Do not party like a rock star because you my dear friend from Kyebando are not a rock star. You don’t even own a bass guitar so why would you want to do the things that rock stars do. That stuff is way above your pay grade. Be yourself, find a constructive hobby like knitting or go visit your elderly parents and spend time with them.

Connect with God
Lets not kid ourselves, there is a God and an afterlife that we shall be ushered into sometime. So it does make sense to make God your friend while you are here. Hell fire is for real people and I personally do not want to taste it. So read that Bible and go to church like your mother recommended. Meanwhile It has been discovered that people that believe in God live a happier more satisfied life. Its true that there is no high like the most high.