Swimmer’s body

Saturday December 1 2018



Mark Kawalya

Mark Kawalya 

By Mark Kawalya

“So have you heard about the swimmer’s body?” Robert asked me via a WhatsApp chat sometime last week. Yes I have I responded.

“They are those bodies that swimmers get that no one is particular cares about.” He went on to tell me that I was dead wrong and a swimmers’ body was the epitome of the male physique that women liked.

This all sounded like a bunch of boloney to me because I never ever read about women chasing Michael Phelps down the street for his body. Besides this the man looked like an ordinary athlete.

“Women dig swimmer’s bodies’ man.” Robert continued. “Fine, where do we sign up to get these swimmer’s bodies?” I asked defeatedly because granted, even married men should look their best.

So last Saturday I met Robert at this swimming pool in Naguru to acquire the swimmer’s body. The pool was filled with excited screaming children that were having the time of their lives. “Chief isn’t there a pool for like grown people somewhere?” I asked.

I have not swam in about four years and besides this I was never really good at this swimming thing. We reclined on those swimming bed thingies as we waited for the children to tire of the pool and go. They eventually did, save for about two little boys and a girl who looked like they would swim for 24 hours.

“It’s time.” Robert said as he stood up and dived into the deep end like an expert. I did not dive in like an expert. I am a humble man. I got in cautiously. I waved Robert over and he swam to me. I asked him “So when is this swimmer’s body coming on because honestly I still feel like I have my old body man.”

“Mark Kawalya you need to do like 100 laps to get even the slightest body change towards that direction. So we did some laps. I always swim right next to the wall for safety purposes. Robert on the other hand was quite the experienced Nile Perch.

After about five laps I got out of the pool and went to the bathroom mirror to check for any signs of a swimmer’s body transformation. There was nothing at all. Matter of fact I think I even looked worse.

“Chief this swimmer’s body thingy is a bunch of hot air,” I said to him as I jumped back into the pool. “That was the only way I would get you to the pool for I know how many excuses you can come up with.” He said grinning.

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