To reveal or not to reveal income to spouse

On June 29, 1985, Robby and Anne Muhumuza walked down the aisle and vowed to love each other until the day death separates them. After 34 years in marriage, Robby attributes the success of their marriage to communication and openness, particularly in financial matters. Robby is a communications consultant and a counsellor. Anne is a retired teacher.

Robby confesses that managing family finances does not have a single formula that works for every couple. According to him, every individual is different in terms of what money means to them and how they manage it.

“Some people are good with money. Every penny they get, they invest it and multiply it. Others are careless with money. No matter how much they receive, it is never enough and they aim at spending all of it,” he expounds.
Robby says he is lucky that his wife is not a spendthrift, something that has made it easy for him to trust her with family money.

In the early years of their marriage, Robby says he was a control freak who spent his money the way he pleased. “When you are newly married, you are a novice (a fresher in the married life). It is like you are in nursery school or Primary One of marriage.

You have little knowledge based on hearsay and zero experience about marriage. I didn’t know very much about the importance of being transparent about my salary to my wife at that time.”
“ I realised that when I made the vows, I swore to share everything with the wife, including property and money,” Robby discloses.

From that day on, he opened up to his wife about bank accounts and started registering property including land, car, houses and treasury bond accounts in both their names.

Robby and Anne own individual bank cards, but they discuss and agree on how much money to spend on every item. “Having our bank accounts and land titles in both our names gives my wife security, that we are equal partners in this marriage,” he says.

Robby and his wife have a home budget. “We have an idea of an average expenditure for all the necessities at home. Sometimes, we have medical bills or contributions to friends or relatives ceremonies like weddings or school fees. These expenses too are added on the monthly budget to facilitate transparent spending,” Robby explains.

As the head of the family, Robby believes that being open about finances in marriage is something every couple should adopt. He says in an event that the man dies, the wife does not have to fight with relatives over ownership of family property.

Anne says that if a woman is working, she should be able support the family financially but should also cater for her needs, as a woman. “Accounting for every coin may be difficult. But managing finances as a couple is essential.

She, however, believes that the whole issue of finances in the home largely depends on trust and transparency among couples. She advises couples to plan, budget, spend and account for their finaces.

Financial expert

Frank Katusiime, a financial expert, revealed that finances is one of the leading causes of marriage breakups, besides infidelity and domestic violence “There is nothing like one-size-fits-all, as far as managing finances in marriage is concerned. Every couple should adopt their mutually developed and agreed upon “finance policy” that they can work with.

“My wife knows how much I earn. She is my deputy and a co- signatory to our company accounts. She knows what is on the account and can access it anytime. I also know what she earns. I sign her monthly cheques. Each one of us is free to do a private project, assist our relatives and contribute to our friends functions. However, we usually talk about all that prior to execution, unless the amount involved is not much”, Katusiime discloses.

He, however, points out key highlights on what to consider as best practices when it comes to finances and marriage:

Husbands should provide
100 per cent of home expenses should be financed by the man. Let your wife control her income fully. Some homes agree on what expenses the wife shall cover and those for the husband. My view is that since the husband is the head and vision bearer, he should provide all finances for domestic use. To implement this, the wife should generate a recurrent budget which the husband should fund. This is what we do in our home.

Wives as domestic finance managers. Wives are generally good financial managers. In my book, Money Mistakes to Avoid, I wrote that my wife is the chief executive officer at home. I am the board chairman. At office, it is the reverse.

Individual account
The wife should have her own bank account just like the husband. I don’t agree with the notion that since wives are to submit, they should do so even with their salaries. However, the husband should always know how she uses the money.

Servicing monthly budget
The finances for the budget mentioned above should be availed to the wife either monthly, quarterly, half yearly or annually. We do ours quarterly. The husband should avoid micro managing and the wife should avoid extravagance.

Men finance capital budgets
It is the responsibility of the husband to also finance the capital budget. However, they can agree to co-finance and co-own property in predetermined ratios. It would be preferred if each investment is registered in either names as long as this is done with mutual agreement. The residential house should be jointly owned.

Avoid secret assets. Under no circumstances should a spouse own secret assets or properties.

Consult financial experts
Where there is a conflict in managing finances consult financial experts.

Pros and cons

Keeping track
When couples have similar ideas about money, managing finances jointly is the game changer. Managing incoming cash and outgoing bill payments can make keeping track of household finances much easier than if they were managed individually.

Builds trust
Managing finances jointly not only enhances communication among couples but also establishes and mantains mutual trust.

Long term goals
A healthy conversation about money matters is one strategic way to achieve long term goals. If you plan to buy land, contruct a house, investing in any project, or planning for retirement, joint management of finances makes this work a lot more easier and both partners would not feel too burdened, financially.

Beware
Spenders versus savers may disagree. If you and your spouse have different views on handling money or different spending habits, then joint management of finances may prove to be an issue of contention.

One partner may feel annoyed at the other spending the money that should be set aside for bills and important purchases. This is one example of money and love matters causing problems in relationships

If the worst happens and you break up, your ex-partner will still be financially connected to you.

Do you reveal your salary to your spouse?

Edgar T. Naijuka,
Stores Assistant
“I openly reveal my salary to my husband because it is the only way we can do proper planning. Besides, he also reveals his income to me. How can I be seen to be hiding my money? We combine our money, pay bills, joint saving and invest in projects togther.”

Cranimh Sayuni, a stay home mother
“My husband takes care of all the financial bills of the family. He pays all the bills and gives me money for upkeep. I know how much he earns. We have a family joint account where I can withdraw money in case I need to use it. But I inform him about my intention to withdraw money before the transaction is made. We both know each other’s passwords for mobile money and bank accounts.”

Wesley Silver,
Radio presenter
“I do. In fact, men should allow their wives to have access to their bank accounts, property, among others. When you make your wife a financial controller, it exhibits a sense of accountability and makes the woman feel secure. Men should know that if a wife knows how much you earn, her expectations are always in line with what you have. Be open about your salary and have an open discussion with your wife about expenditure and investments. This eliminates mistrust in the relationship.”

Evelyn Kharono Lufafa,
Marriage psychologist
“Money represents power and security. That is why couples find it difficult to discuss finances. Money matters are capable of breaking up marriages. advise couples to engage in candid conversations on family budgets, investment, ownership of property, each partner’s contribution, among other things, in order to have healthy relationships. I appeal to couples who find difficulties in dealing with finances in their marriage to seek financial counseling.”

Lillian Namulondo,
Teacher
“Yes, but I do not tell him everything. Men cannot be trusted 100 per cent. You can hardly know all his plans even if he marries you. I have decided to keep some money for myself which he does not know about, in case of a rainy day. I have a starting point, if things don’t work out.”

Solomon Bitaroho,
Banker
“My wife knows how much I earn. I trust and love her. I believe openness about my finances helps couples to plan and budget for the family. It is also one way couples can avoid endless fights in the home since they will both be aware of what is earned and what it is spent on.”