Woes of fatherhood
I normally don’t like to gripe in this space. I like to keep things fun and easy going. But today, I will gripe because of the two little human beings that live with me. I know they are my children and all but surely sometimes children can make you go bananas.
I was sitting on the couch as my seven-month-old daughter lay on her back next to me. We were watching TV. The baby kicked over my phone and as I bent over to pick it up, she grabbed my nose with a vice like grip. Babies reach a stage where they have a really strong grip. If you have interacted with them you probably know this.
So I was taken by surprise by this misbehaving baby. No one has ever grabbed my nose before. To put it candidly, the baby had a fistful of nose. Then came the shocking part. She tried to sit up by holding onto my nose as some sort of anchor to pull her self up. I have never been so disrespected in my life. I didn’t talk to this baby for a two whole weeks out of protest. Think about it.... Which kind of Barbarian sits up by holding onto another human being’s nose? Who even does that? It then hit me that this baby has absolutely no respect for the man of the house.
I am still surprised that I still have a nose attached to my face. It is a little loose, but still there working the way a nose should normally work.
The three-year-old boy is not any better. One time, I came home to find him sitting astride my MacBook Pro laptop trying to ride it like a boda boda. He doesn’t care that I had to save to buy this computer.
He doesn’t care that this laptop is on the only way I can do my graphic design and writing work away from the office. I stood there in shock watching him who had on like the biggest grins on this face as he rode the boda boda/laptop. Oh... he is at a stage where he is fascinated with boda bodas.
I swung into action and yanked the laptop from under him as he fell onto the carpet. “Daddy give me boda boda.” He said standing up, his hands outstretched towards the laptop. “This is not a boda boda!” I said to him sternly. “Next time ride that plastic bike of yours” I said pointing to the large toy that sat in a corner. I then launched into lecture mode and gave him 10 reasons why he should not touch daddy’s computer. But I neither trusted the efficacy of my lecturer nor the ears of student. I now keep my computer under lock and key for because I don’t want to come home to laptop spare parts and endless blame games.
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