In the mind of a suicidal person

Mwesigye is a dashing young man doing what most Ugandans would call “a good job”. However, behind closed doors, he is a sad man, to the point that he has attempted to kill himself several times. Did it have to reach this stage? Is there something that could have been done to avoid the climb to suicide?

Traumatic events
“So many terrible things happened in my life. At the time, it never crossed my mind that they would lead me down such a disastrous path. I thought I was strong enough but now I realise that it was too much for me to handle,” Mwesigye laments in retrospect.
When he was about 17 years old, he witnessed something tragic. “My young brother and I were on our way to see some friends. As we crossed the road, a car came from nowhere. I managed to run but it was too late for my brother. I heard a very loud bang which I still hear to this day, especially when I go to sleep...the image of what was left of my brother,” he explains. To this day, Mwesigye feels responsible for what happened.
As if the traumatic event and the self-blame were not enough, Mwesigye’s high school sweetheart left him for one of his friends. “This was someone I depended on for everything emotionally. At that point, I felt that maybe I was not good enough for her. The betrayal was just too much; not just from her but also from my friend. I began to believe that I was not meant to be happy,” reflects Mwesigye.

Suicide triggers
Jane Bwambale, a counsellor who has dealt with many suicidal patients says, “Self blame is one of the causes of suicide.
When one blames oneself for something bad that happened, one tends to think that one does not deserve to live. This is regardless of whether the blame is justified or not.” Financial loss has been identified as one of the leading causes of suicide in recent years. With many people rushing to acquire loans, some of them are not able to repay. When debt keeps piling, it seems like there is no alternative and one could resort to killing himself, believing it is “quick relief”.
Physical and sexual abuse bring a lot of emotional pain to people especially women.

Signs of decline
One of the greatest warning signs of suicidal tendencies is alcoholism and drug abuse. Mwesigye, a suicide survivor admits, “Alcohol became my comforter. I was in a bar almost every day of the week. My peers thought I just liked “happening”. They were oblivious to what was really going on in my life.” Usually when someone is addicted to alcohol or drugs, it is a sign that there is something terrible going on in their life and they eventually become suicidal.
According to the American Foundation for suicide prevention, the majority of people who died by suicide had a mental disorder at the time of their deaths. Often, however, these disorders had not been recognised, diagnosed or adequately treated.

Clues often ignored
According to Bwambale, some of the telltale signs that a person is considering suicide include;
•Depression, which could lead to feeling that you are a burden to others
•Losing interest in things one used to like
•Watching violent movies or playing violent video games
•Having trouble eating and sleeping.
She encourages a person with such problems to seek professional help, particularly psychiatric intervention, before they escalate.
Suicide has been termed a permanent solution to a temporary problem but people with suicidal tendencies need help to learn to accept what they cannot change and cope with the situation.
The biblical King Solomon of Israel says in the book of Proverbs, “All the days of the afflicted one are bad. But the one with a cheerful heart has a continual feast.” We should recognise the signs of suicide and deal with them before it’s too late.

EXPERT VIEW
“There’s a common fallacy that talking about suicide or even using the word encourages people to try it, yet the fact is that bringing the topic out into the open often helps a person with suicidal thoughts to consider other options. Family members play a very big role in helping someone to fight and overcome suicidal tendencies. They need to identify the cause of the person’s suicide attempt and get a professional to help him deal with it. ”

Jane Bwambale, counsellor

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