What causes premature ejaculation?

I am 25 but during sexual intercourse with my partner, I do not last more than four or five minutes before ejaculating. Also, after ejaculation, my penis will not erect again for atleast 30 minutes. What should I do? Derrick

Dear Derrick,
Although it is said that the average time a man should take (during sex) before ejaculating is around six minutes, any man ejaculating quicker than he or his sexual partner would like him to, may be considered as having premature ejaculation.

Much as you may have wanted to take longer, at five minutes you are not actually doing badly because a number of men going through premature ejaculation may ejaculate before penetration or soon afterwards.

Naturally, when a man ejaculates, he can take time to replenish energies and erect again. The time taken depends on a number of factors including age, satisfaction, levels of sexual interest and stress, among others.

Sometimes, men think they have premature ejaculation yet they are normal except that their female partners are too demanding sexually. Premature ejaculation can lead to anxiety and stress and can affect not only fertility but also a love relationship.

Almost every man who has been sexually active has had premature ejaculation before or once in a while, but for some men, this has happened ever since they became sexually active and for others it may begin in one who was previously okay. Unfortunately, once the problem happens, fear that it is likely to happen again (performance anxiety) may perpetuate the problem.

Psychological causes such as anxiety and stress, guilt feelings or those related to relationship problems may also lead to premature ejaculation. Erection problems, a family history, low testosterone levels, infection of the prostate or urethra may also lead to the problem.

Masturbating an hour or two before sex reduces sensitivity and helps some men to take longer to ejaculate.

Pelvic floor exercises (Kegel exercises, the pause-squeeze technique, use of condoms or sprays that reduce penile sensitivity (lidocaine spray) can also help but if they do not, please visit your doctor. The doctor may give you face to face advice, apart from carrying out investigations to point out the cause of the problem and how to deal with it.

The doctor may also prescribe drugs including antidepressants, a painkiller whose side effect is prolonging ejaculation, erection drugs and drugs for an enlarged prostate apart from counselling.

The doctor will also try to find out whether you actually last a short time or it is your partner that is too demanding. Also, relax and make a few adjustments including more foreplay because worrying about this problem is likely to worsen your problem.