How long after you’r gone?

Sunday January 12 2020

Christians praying at one of the Pentecostal churches in Kampala. Many people get disappointed when their prayers seem to go unanswered.

Christians praying at one of the Pentecostal churches in Kampala. File photo 

By NAFHA MAANI EBRAHIMI

It’s been four years since a young friend lost her husband in a car accident, only one week after their wedding, sadly. However, this young lady keeps posting and reposting photos of their engagement, wedding and other memories on social media, accompanied with nostalgic notes and sometimes heartbreaking statements.
Responses to her posts, vary between ones commenting on the photos, others who try to share her feelings of loss, and then a few who between the lines advise her to move on and open a new page in her life.
This story makes me wonder, how long should people cling on to memories of loved ones, once they are no longer with us? It seems that the loss of a child is the hardest while the parents are still alive. This seems inconsolable and very difficult to overcome. The passing of parents is equally difficult, especially if the children are still young and need them.
In the above case, it was the loss of a partner in life. In my view, clinging to memories of a spouse is one of the greatest proofs of love and dedication to someone with whom we have no genetic relationship, rather a marriage ceremony.
In some cultures in the Far East, the dead relative is not buried for a very long time. Instead they are kept in a special room in the house, taken care of, and even offered food.
Burial traditions around the world vary so much, and while some cultures strictly adhere to their beliefs, that may include the turning of the bones of their dead every seven or so years, others are turning to green funerals that could include compressing one’s remains into a sphere that will be attached to reef in the ocean.
Leaving a legacy to be remembered by, seems to be on the minds of some people. Others live their lives with no worry that they will no longer be remembered. I am not sure which group you belong to.
Personally, I would rather be remembered, for all the good reasons, and not otherwise. In my faith, saying prayers is the best way of remembering the departed. There are special prayers that are recited and in them one asks God to forgive the sins of the deceased and help the progress of his/her soul throughout the worlds of God.

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