I tested positive during my Senior Four school holiday

Martha Clara Nakato

What you need to know:

  • PHENOMENON. It is never an easy thing to reveal to a child that what they have is not simple malaria, but something they have to live with, but what about those children that learn about this by themselves? Martha Clara Nakato is one of such children, she talked to Phionah Nassanga

Her earliest memory of her mother was the time she quit her job because of an illness.
At only five years and the last born, she would be drawn to her father especially after the death of the mother.
Martha Clara Nakato says her mother had been in and out of hospital, something that had affected their relationship.

“For three months she was in hospital; my brother and I were not allowed to visit her,” she says.
“The next time I saw her was at the burial.”

Things immediately went back to normal after the burial. As a child she would always get malaria and other infections. But with time, she would feel well again.
At the time of enrolling in school, Nakato reveals that their father’s number one request to the teachers was to give him a call in case one of the twins ever got sick. Everything seemed fine till her Senior Four second term holidays.

The fateful day
On May 2, 2012, Nakato saw her dreams and hopes shattered. She was easily reminded of all the schools post that read ‘Aids kills’. With many questions, she was wondering about who she could turn to for answers.
“I have had sex, but I am scared I might have gotten HIV. What can I do?” Nakato recalls the tense look on her brother’s face.

Scared and confused, Nakato suggested he goes for a blood test. Luckily, on that particular day there was a community medical outreach in their residential area, Kamwokya.
“I escorted him up to the camp, but he was too scared. I suggested that we all get tested.”
She says after 30 minutes of waiting her brother’s results were out. He tested HIV negative. “I was happy for him. As though saved from a burden he excitedly took a deep sigh,” Nakato recalls.

Meanwhile the two patiently waited for the other results. However, after an hour of waiting Nakato felt the need to approach the counsellor who she says asked if they had come with an adult.
Insisting on asking seeing her results, the counsellor asked if she had an idea about HIV/Aids. With a nod, she confidently replied in the affirmative.

“The counsellor remained silent for a few minutes and handled over my result slip. It read HIV positive. I took a second at the piece of paper and immediately detested the results. It’s not me that had indulged in sex. It was my brother. Why then would I test positive?” With tears streaming down her face, Nakato questioned the counsellor.

She asked the counsellor to carry out a second test, but the result came out the same.
Nakato says at that moment a lot of things ran through her mind. She felt confused and broken, questioning how it came about. How was she going to approach her father?

Breaking the news to her father
Scared and worried of how her father would react, Nakato says the counsellor asked if she would speak to her father. But before that, she had to deal with her brother that was asking if there was something she was hiding a thing from him.
The counsellor tagged along as they went home and as fate could have it, their father was home to welcome them.

“She introduced herself as Sarah and immediately told my father she had carried out an HIV test on us.”
Before she would complete her statement their father interjected asking who had given her the mandate to test his children; “I can sue you for this,” he stated.
Furious, he asked what they were looking for when they went to get tested and if they got it. Amidst sobs and confusion she left the counsellor and her father to talk.

The next day Nakato was taken to Kamwokya Christian Caring Community where four other tests were carried out. She says the doctor confirmed that her CD4 count was still high but advised she starts medication.
She says before reporting back to school for her second term she was taken through different counselling sessions, but the only thing she ever thought of was: “I am going to die.”

Optimistic: Nakato has also taken part in different HIV campaigns around the world. COURTESY PHOTOS

Life at school
Learning she was HIV positive did not only leave her in tatters, but also affected her performance in school. She says the stubborn and jolly Nakato was no more. Fearing she would be judged she started keeping to herself. After Senior Four she was admitted to Trinity College Nabbingo for A-Level.

Unlike St. Joseph’s Namaguga where they only presented medical forms with a doctor’s signature, she says the policy at Nabbingo was different; parents were expected to disclose everything about their children’s health.
“This seemed hard. I did not want anyone to know about my status. I was worried of the misconceptions, people thinking I’m promiscuous.”

She says her status was disclosed to the head teacher, school nurse and the matron. Meeting an old friend from her former school she thought she had found someone she would open up to. Someone she would trust, freely talk to and probably help her in case of anything.

“Amidst one of our conversations I asked my friend of how she would react in case she discovered one of her friends was HIV positive,” she says, adding that she was saddened by her response: “I would just keep away because he or she would infect me.”
At that point, Nakato felt like people with HIV had no place in society.

Feeling resented, she continued being alone. She states that much as her classmates looked up to her performance, admiring the kind of person she was, no one ever knew the kind of fear she lived.

Opening up to siblings
Other than her and twin brother, none of her other siblings knew about her status until late 2013 when she opened up to her elder sister.
“In the third term of my Senior Five I opened up to my elder sister, but her first question was: “How did you catch the virus?”

Hardly had she answered, her sister concluded she was sleeping around and thus telling all the other siblings.
When she returned home, each of the siblings had questions for her. Questions she did not have answers to.

However, she says was hurt by the fact that even when she told them she did not know how she had got the virus none of them seemed to believe her.
With different accusations, Nakato thought of committing suicide.

Attempting suicide
“I tried committing suicide eight times. In 2012, when I had just learnt of my status, I took a jerry can and went to the well with a thought of drowning myself. But my plan was aborted by the many people I found there.”
She says different attempts kept coming up, but none of them was successful.

One Sunday evening of 2014 while at Nabbingo, Nakato decided to stay in the dormitory as the rest went to class. She says when everyone had left she took an over dose of her ARVS, but she was shocked to regain consciousness in the school sick bay the next morning.
“Everyone was asking about what had happened, I was disappointed that I was still alive and listening to what everyone had to say.”
After that incident, Nakato says her father was advised to enroll her in a day school where they would watch over her.

However, she says her attempts to commit suicide never seemed to stop till one of her elder brothers got furious at her. Beating her up, she recalls his words: “You have no right to take your life, you did not create yourself.”

Turning point
Nakato says her turning point came in 2016 “ After my Senior Six in 2014 I decided to stay away from home, spending more time at TASO . I tried to engage in a number of activities and listened to different adolescent share their stories. Many of these youths looked up to me, by my looks they assumed I was healthier than them. This encouraged me to live a positive life and I also took on leadership of the youth drama group at TASO”

It is after this decision that Nakato started openly talking about her HIV status. She says the fear of rejection, the fear of not living a long healthy life and not being able to achieve her dreams is no more.

The unanswered questions
Nakato says after four years of living in denial with unanswered questions in 2016 she opened up about her status. “It was during this conversation that daddy told me of how he was scared about revealing my status to me and my other siblings. He said he was worried of how my other siblings would treat me and was not sure of how I would live life as well.”

She says that it was amidst this talk that she found out of how she might have contacted the virus.
“You must have contracted the virus at birth,” her father revealed. Telling her of how he also got scared of telling their late mother the truth about his status and only got to know she was HIV positive while at Nsambya hospital.

Nakato says hearing the truth of how she caught the diseases gave her a peace of mind thus ending the stigma. However, she says it is unfortunate that her father died of cancer early this year. Today Nakato is an HIV/Aids activist working with a number of platforms to combat the stigma that comes with HIV.