Is your boss a vampire?

Sunday July 21 2019

Be very afraid if your boss times his/her

Be very afraid if your boss times his/her arrival and departure times at the office to coincide with times of the day when the sun is not out—that is before 6am and after 6pm 

By Stella Riunga

Have you been suspecting that there is something eerily otherworldly about your boss?
According to Dictionary.com, a vampire is (in Eastern European folklore) a corpse, animated by an undeparted soul or demon, that periodically leaves the grave and disturbs the living, until it is exhumed and impaled or burned. Read on to know whether or not you are working for a real human being.

1. Does your boss never leave his or her office?
An extreme fear of sunlight is highly characteristic of all vampires. It is thought that exposure to sunlight weakens them. Be very afraid if your boss times his/her arrival and departure times at the office to coincide with times of the day when the sun is not out—that is before 6am and after 6pm.

2. Does not require much sleep (i.e. because they are already dead)
I’ve often wondered how a normal human being can work from 7am to beyond 8pm all year long without taking a break. Now you know how.

3. Heightened senses
For example, just when you are about to leave for lunch, your boss will call you and detain you for about 20 minutes asking about this, that and the other and when you finally get to your favourite food joint, your favourite meal will be finished.
Or, just when you are filling in a leave form, your boss will suddenly saddle you with a project due on the day you wanted to begin your leave.
How do they always do this, eh? I believe something more sinister than mere bad luck is at play here.

4. Can go without feeding for a period of time
Does your boss spend all day in his or her lair...sorry, office? Do you and your colleagues ever wonder how your boss deals with urges such as the call of nature? Is it unclear what, or whether at all, your boss eats? It is time to face the cold, harsh reality that you could be dealing with a vampire.
If these signs describe your boss, take a deep breath, string garlic around your neck and call in your parish priest or pastor for a chat. All the best!

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