Do you know the Methuselan bank?

Another month begins! Hallelujah! Before you know it, it will be December and then we will be singing ‘Happy New Year’.
There is one place I certainly do not miss and that is the bank. I hate going to the bank. Pre-Covid-19, going to the bank was an irritating, time-wasting experience that always left me angry and grumpy.

I bank with two banks. The first one has been around since Methuselah was a baby. Methuselah is a 4,851-year-old Great Basin bristlecone pine tree growing high in the White Mountains of Inyo County in eastern California. It is recognised as the non-clonal tree with the greatest confirmed age in the world.

The ‘customer service’ is also Methuselan. The reason I am still with this bank is, to be honest, I am sure it is not going anywhere. Banks have collapsed and banks have gone but the Methuselan bank remains. I’m sure Abraham and Moses had accounts there too.

That is the only positive thing I can say about it. It’s the kind of bank where the banking hall has 15 teller counters but at any given time, you can only find seven. When you enter any Methuselan banking hall, rows of tired, frustrated eyes perched on tired, haggard faces stare back at you, hoping that the seven overworked tellers will manage to serve them before the day ends.

The second bank is quite new, having taken over from one that recently collapsed. This second bank is everything a bank should be. My last visit there was last year to update my details, which was done quickly and efficiently. The tellers and other bank staff look awake, which is much more than can be said for dear old Methuselan bank. I have never had to return since then.

They have a well-designed banking app that functions smoothly.
When you call to make a query, somebody actually picks up the phone and helps you. Let us take a moment to digest that.
Can you imagine it?

Not like some bank we all know which recently changed its name to something that sounds like a toddler’s arrangement of vowels and consonants, where the helpline is busy from morning to midnight. You would think the entire continent was calling in!

Do you run a Methuselan-style business? Brethren, wake up. The 21st century will not wait for you to catch up.