She left me but now wants me back

Friday January 12 2018


By Beatrice Nakibuuka

Dear Heart to Heart, Before breaking up with my ex-girlfriend of four years she would neither call nor text no matter how much airtime I sent her. In addition, she could not answer my calls or texts. I gave up and ended the relationship. But now she is blaming me for ending the relationship even when she is clearly the one who started the rift. In the four years, I kept telling her my likes and dislikes but all she did was what I disliked. Although I loved her so much, she did not give leave me any choice. Does this mean she wants me back? Can I take her back?


Ochieng Simon Peter. Why are you interested in repeating classes when the report card is showing promoted to the next class? A tree will never collect back the fallen branch, but it will continue growing other fresh ones.

Phoebe Miriam. So what are you going back to now? She has only been doing what you dislike, right? Ignore her and move on. There are so many other nice girls you can choose from instead of wasting valuable time.

Kabs Shan. Issues of the heart are hard to handle but it seems you still have feelings for her despite her wrongs. Search within your heart and see if what you feel for her is greater than what she did to you because after all is said and done the final decision is yours alone brother.

Emmanuel Keneth Watyekere. Do not risk and turn back to her. I think she encountered a challenge or hardship during the time she left you and now she wants a shoulder to lean on for comfort. But do not give her a chance just live your own life.

Murungi Fiona. What a confused heart feeling? If you do not care for any pain but rather love no matter what, then go back to her but it is you to love not her to love you back.

Tashobya Paul. You deserve better than that. Be careful before you accept. Weigh between an asset and a liability then see what weighs lighter. Sometimes it is good to follow your heart. My advice is that you should first pray and fast and God can reveal it to you because he sees unseen things.

Micheal Rukundo Byamukama. Why go with someone who has done only dislikes in the time you have been together when you are well aware about them. There are many girls who can be the rightful persons to go with, leave her and move on with your life.

Julio Wander. Run as far as you can. She left because she had options. Now the option she had did not work out so unless you are a dustbin where wastes are dumped you are lucky you managed to move on do not look back no matter how tempting it might be.

Cush Rule. Chances are high that she was dedicating her attention to someone else and it could happen again. Contain the pain and move on. Letting her back would mean joining a sex network which you may regret.

Edward Tutor. Do some research and find out why she left you? What she has been up to for the last four years before you make a decision.

Patience Esther. She left you for someone else and when it did not work you are her last option; if you take her back she will do it again.

Deogracious Ngwabe. My dear brother Ambrose, your ex-girlfriend had reasons as to why she acted in such ways and in my opinion she did all that just because she was seeing someone else. If you are to allow her back in your life, she should first tell you why she behaved that way to you, and secondly, getting her back is like a dog that is swallowing its own vomit.

Nyakojo Donavan Alecs. After they have used her and dumped her, now she has realised you were worthy! She should not take you as a second option. How sure are you she is not having those boyfriends who made her leave you? Do not bring her back.

Jimmy Katumba. Poverty is forcing her to come back to you, but believe me she did not love you and still does not. It is just that when they (girls) face hard situations they look for ways of how to come out of such situations.

Aski Zhem. There should not be any “more chances to waste”. If she thought that she was the last born in the beautiful category, then, let her believe that even second last borns can take her place.

David Otim. Why go back to her in the first place? Maybe you have many children with her. But if she is just a girlfriend, just end that chapter, take your time and look for a brand young woman even of a tender age 18-25.

counsellor’s say>
Evelyn Lufafa, Ssuubi Medical Centre

Talk before thinking of

Dear Ambrose, this scenario is quite common among young lovers. It is not easy to conclude on your behalf what your girlfriend meant. However, she was sorry you loved her, this statement is quite loaded. It can mean you did not give her space to be her or she wanted a break.
True love does not pretend and so if your communication is not clear then there could be many unspoken words between you two. On the other hand you need to read about women psychology to get to know them better. Sometimes the statement may be as much better meaning than an action.
In this case you have to take an informed decision and if you are taking her back, you need to do an HIV test, sit together and discuss the way forward of the relationship.
Talk about the past and where you want to be. Have a more focused relationship and talk about commitment.
Think also about the qualities that attracted you to her. After doing the above it is upon what you think and feel about the relationship that will make you to either get back or quit.

Compiled by Beatrice