Government hires Kakira company to mill its PR

Apparently, there is this Deputy Attorney General who was pictured tending to his cows with an AK47. For his defence, Rukutana says he has been owning such a rifle for 20 good years. COURTESY PHOTO

What you need to know:

Rendition. Empty tins make a lot of noise which will very often make you laugh. Visit this page every Sunday to encounter Empty Tin and his warped ideas.

Most of you reading this have never heard of Peacock Consultants. Also, you are probably reading it here that the public relations, communication and marketing firm has been hired to help the NRM government get its action points right.

With so many strange things happening in the country, Empty Tin has concluded that the ruling party and the government are justified to sink some good millions of dollars in Peacock Consultants to facilitate better PR and marketing as well as crisis management.

Among the focal points for the consultants is why this money thing for the youth is not working as expected. Yes, Bryan White is supposed to be the talk of town but people are going on and on with Bebe Cool’s Afrima award voting.
The other day they were allover the place talking about Kyarenga as if it was a new ministry for donations and tomorrow they might be discussing how Daniella Atim has given birth.

The other day, Bryan White flaunted so much cash that you would think he was going to construct an SGR that connects Uganda straight to heaven via China, but people hardly blinked twice and moved on. Then came Nyakana saying Bryan White looks like alcohol.

The day Bryan White flaunted the bundles of cash, some loudmouth intimated to us that he had seen something that looked like toothpick with a cap on loitering purposefully at State House Entebbe. Whatever he was trying to suggest is your guess.
As for Peacock Consultants, word is that they suggested that for such projects in African culture, a rich man is supposed to have the belly of a hippo and the nape of a Micheline cartoon strip.

Basically, the Kakira-based consultants are saying that instead of using a subject that would be ridiculed whenever he dishes cash, NRM should consider someone fat, suited and with the air of money around them.

Yes, the goal is to make the youth drunk with dreams of wealth and forget about their undressing to protest Umeme failures, but consultants are saying that sending a man who Nyakana says looks like alcohol itself to get the youth drunk with dreams of money does not work.

The other task is of crisis management. Apparently, there is this Deputy Attorney General who was pictured tending to his cows with an AK47. For his defence, Rukutana says he has been owning such a rifle for 20 good years.
The AG’s excuse is even more disturbing. It’s like you are caught stealing a duck and you shamelessly say you have been doing it for the last 20 years.

Peacock Consultants suggested that AG should have claimed that the picture was taken when he had asked his guard to help restrain a cow that was acting like Sylvia Owori and the guard had asked that someone holds the gun since he wouldn’t run after Owori with a cocked automatic rifle.

So AG had taken the gun and then Besigye, in hiding, took and released the picture to social media with negative propaganda to it. They are enemies of progress, he would add.

He can also claim that his name is on the list of hitmen. That after Siraje Bakaleke disappeared into thin air, the hitmen are now after him and he has decided he won’t die like a rat, hence the serious façade of security.

Haters will point that even Maj Muhammed Kiggundu and his guards were armed with automatic rifles, or that people have been brought down in jet fighters or tanks, but “I won’t let my life pan like a movie script,” AG can say.

Talking of movies, AG can also claim that the picture was taken during the shooting of Natasha’s 27 Guns. For effect, he can add that he was acting the story of a cat species who convinced several youth to join him in the bush with promises that when they leave the bush, they will own cows and cake-shaped bungalows.

If some of the few people who watched the movie claim there was no such a scene, he can say the director shouted ‘cut!’ around that time.
Meanwhile, Empty Tin is yet to establish how much NRM government is injecting into this consultancy.