State of the Empty Tin address: Why Murchison Falls must go
What you need to know:
Rendition. Empty tins make a lot of noise which will very often make you laugh. Visit this page every Sunday to encounter Empty Tin and his warped ideas.
Madam Speaker Sir, The amiable prime minister, horrible MPs and ministers and members of the diplomatic corps,
I’ll be very brief this year so that the press does not take those photos they splash on the covers of tabloids to mock my ministers who work day and night and have little time to sleep in their bed. They do it here.
There is a lot of brouhaha going on about a very progressive development that my visionary leadership has mooted. Electricity is the boon of the economy. With more power, we’re able to attract more investors to set up industries. Right now we have 4,900 factories that have created an estimated 50,000 jobs.
But our people still go to wash dogs in Europe. Of course, the good-for-nothing Opposition blames this on us. They accuse our government of selling girls into slavery to Arab countries forgetting that the laziness of their parents is to blame.
Like a minister said, most of you are lazy. You spent all your time looking for jobs instead of okusoloza… this word has no direct equivalent in Acholi but in Lugbara it can go for Ikini. That’s the power of language.
Now, I was saying there is a group that wants to oppose every progressive idea we come up with to take this nation to middle income status. In 1986, we didn’t even think falls could be so useful as to attract South African investors to construct dams. But now we know this and we are ready to move forward.
The noisemakers, like rice birds, cannot add value to this economy. We launched Isamba in March, and Karuma and other dams will soon add more electricity to the national grid. Now, to explain Murchison Falls, I am told tourism brings in a lot of revenue, but do the peasants understand revenue?
Absolutely not. Peasants understand jobs and food on the table. What do they do with a waterfall? If the waterfall can become a dam that helps light their homes and create jobs, they will forever be grateful.
Why should our people go to Europe or America to wash dogs like my minister said when we can keep them employed here?
Now that we have a lot of Rwenzori medals, wait and see. I will give a medal to all those who go on Facebook and Twitter to support this envisaged project.
A few years ago, some of you threatened to die if Bujagali was turned into a dam. You didn’t die. Now you smile ear to ear and enjoy the ripe fruits of my visionary idea. But this is not important now.
There is a big story in the revival of Uganda Airlines. I invite every citizen to take special note of this. In fact, the ministry of Education should have the national carrier revival on the education syllabus.
Over the years, I have overcome challenges and continue to overcome more. So now you look at Uganda Airlines and you can tell that sometimes we have to sacrifice a few things for the greater goal.
At the time we noticed that the airline was loss-making, so we took it off. But now we need it back. We have it. We are soon reviving railway transport, then public buses.
What makes you think that we can’t revive Bujagali and Murchison when the time is right to have them back again?
I will end my address by saying, God gifted us with resources. We must tap into them to provide for the sons and daughters of God. It would be a travesty to starve the people and let them run to wash dogs in Europe when we can use our natural endowment to create jobs and uplift their livelihood.
President Donald Trump recently chided Africans for remaining poor despite resource endowment. Why should we sit on resources that we can revive at our convenience?
I thank you.
