Stop stressing us with pictures of your food on Facebook

When I entered the gate, my dog barked like I was a stranger. I was mortified. But bravely, I reached up to her. She barked some more. I finally stroked her and she wagged the tail.
This was disturbing. I looked around for a reason for her – I can’t use her name here because some of you reading this will accuse me of being worse than Nantaba – peculiar behaviour only to notice that the 1pm news on radio was on.

Apparently, the dog had run nuts when the anchor, with voice so sweet I had to relive the good old days of Patricia Okoed and Kathy Ageno, was on the government or rather that man whose name is the only thing left of the other defunct store, was rubbing another arm of the government.
Precisely, the anchor quoted OO and police spokesman Fred Enanga and then BoU chief all saying different things that any mad dog would summarise as meaning the same lie. Dog had been confused and started behaving like the cretins that disturb the peace of their food by taking pictures before eating.

You think stealing from patients is stressing? You think looking for the Shs90 billion is the biggest deal? Or that our Budget is entirely donor funded with some semblance of sugar-coated domestic revenue?
I have always been disturbed by chaps who can’t say a simple prayer and enjoy their food without first taking a picture and posting on Facebook.

Last Friday, I dropped in at Kyambogo University to see an old friend. We decided to do some ‘swallowship’ before the mukolole of a lecturer would retire to his fellowship. At a nearby table, this chic was served. But before she could do anything, she dived into her bag, one big enough you would think she stuffed in there a floater and a tent.
Yes, a floater just in case River Nile moved its source to Kampala after a light shower and the tent in case night found her outside.
From the bag came a phone. She took pictures, smiled and started surfing.

“Now look at this genetically modified amoeba,” I said.
“Why?” replied my mate. “You don’t like what she is doing?”
“Food should be eaten. The animals on the plate already went through enough pain of slaughter, no need torturing their meat with cameras and public nuisance on Facebook.”

“Now, now, now, relax. It isn’t your food, she is paying.”
“Yeah, right. Public manners don’t follow who is footing the bill, in any case, none of these urchins is brave enough to post pictures of their digested food the following day.”
“Easy, my friend. There are explanations for why your ‘amoeba’ does what she does,” said the psychology lecturer. “Some people need to remind themselves of that moment many months or years later. It could be when they are starving and wishing so badly for another such meal.”
“So must they post it on Facebook?”

“It’s their account they are using, not yours,” he said curtly yet genially. “Anyway, you need to sympathise with such people and not be too hard on them. They don’t share pictures of mukene and eggplants or roadside vegetables they are eating, do they?”
“It’s always something meaty, yummy…”
“Yes, so every time you see one share such a picture, congratulate them on resting the mukene and expired beans that have been beating their digestive system for so long.”
“But…”

“There is no but here, it’s a question of human behaviour. As kids, there are those who only ate meat and took soda on Christmas Day or Eid. Of course, if a goat died in June and the meat was shared, such kids would walk around licking the bones for all to see that they have had meat. There are two things; they were kids, and there was no Facebook.
“Now they can’t walk around with bones like dogs as adults, so they turn to Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.”

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