Trump suspends April Fools’ Day over coronavirus

Sunday March 29 2020

 

By Jacobs Seaman Odongo

US president Donald Trump on Thursday announced he had suspended this year’s April Fools’ Day over the coronavirus pandemic, saying there could be “very few fools in the mood for pranks to feel like the pranks they should be.”

In a series of tweets, Trump said he had consulted with his team of very “reliable men and woman” and decided that “everything and almost nothing makes sense now about this disease” except to push back the event.

“Olympics is gone, NBA is gone, that Euro thing is gone, and everything is going. At this moment, it’s best that we push back the most celebrated day in the history of an American president,” he said.
“Fools die, so don’t act like one in this crazy time. Be smart.”

This year’s April Fools’ Day falls on Wednesday. The US president claimed that the day is one of the most celebrated globally and that all his fans are “literally hooked” to the day that is observed with practical jokes and hoaxes from morning until the tick of midday.

Trump said his team of special and reliable men and women would sit at a later date to decide on when to observe the pranks. The new date to be communicated, he added, cannot come until the coronavirus pandemic is completely done away with because “my fans might think that coronavirus has been a whole lot of bad prank.”

The tweeting US leader is known to pull a lot of legs and can be as self-deprecating as he can be brutal but this latest bizarre call has left some of his ardent followers in Uganda a little confused.

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One, particularly shaken by the announcement, decided to tell the nation that the alternative to banning public transport was not in the picture and that the people should instead turn to riding bicycles.

The spotted animal last week asked people to stay home and later advised to avoid public transport. The legendary Leo, however, maintains public transport in the city, saying he would only ban them after enough chaps acquired bicycles and took riding lessons from Makerere’s Amanda Ngabirano, a posture corporate on the metallic horse.

It remains unclear if the national address was prematurely conceived seeing as it was rushed after Trump’s bizarre tweets about pushing back Fools’ Day, but a couple of Opposition figures could not resist the temptation to rub their palms with optimism.

“He once called himself a quota pin and several hammers used to try and dislodge that quota pin did not succeed,” said Besigye. “It’s as well now because once many people acquire bicycles, they will learn how to dislodge that quota pin and then deal with him properly, hammer him!”

The other Trump aficionado who was rattled by the bizarre tweets is a general who, according to our fly on MTN wall, paid for data worth Shs25 trillion last weekend and took to Twitter to turn himself into the human face of April Fools’ Day.

The general has since been tweeting with so much salvo you would think that each tweet is worth 100 barrels of coronavirus vaccine and cure. And we don’t mean the same cure as Dr Becky sold the nation.

Our appeal to president Trump is that he should call back his pronouncement so that Empty Tin packages its things and delivers them in one big shot on April 1.

editorial@ug.nationmedia.com

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