First things first. Instagram is a bar where socialites flaunt more flesh than brains. It’s their ultimate happening place.
Like any other bar today, Instagram or IG as it is popularly known, operates 24 hours a day.
All you need is your bank account to have liquid (read cash) and your ability to spend (data).
While on IG, one of the mega things that happen is the bar welcoming you when you upload yourself on it.
It doesn’t refuse. It particularly likes chaps competing in PDA and grinning like camels to show off their kazigo.
When you upload yourself on IG bar, it proceeds to allow millions of other users to see your great filtered photos and share them extensively. The IG bar policy is to never go and look for clients. It simply banks on recommendation of other patrons to hook you up.
Now, recently, this PLT (pretty little thing) uploaded herself on IG bar with aplomb. She was having swell time and being a celeb, the IG bar was the penultimate thing.
Then IG allowed her nice photos to be shared and used by other patrons and whatnot.
This didn’t amuse her. She had threatened to—or already sued—IG bar for something like unauthorised use of her kazigo.
When I heard about this peculiar rumbling, I tried to dig into it. Why would they do that to our PLT at a time she has decided to upload herself willingly on the bar?
She was spending her own data to enjoy the IG bar service so how could the bar management pay back her spendthrift by displaying her kazigo for all to see?
You know what IG bar has been telling us? That PLT uploaded herself on the bar and spent like there was no tomorrow. The bar says patrons that come there do not come to hide but to be seen in HD pixel.
“Those who don’t want to be seen, have no business uploading themselves at our bar. They should stay home or spend their data on China’s Webo whatever,” the defiant IG bar management says.
Although I agree with IG bar that they have own policies and that whoever uploads themselves into the bar is deemed to have automatically agreed all the T&Cs of the bar, I feel they should be a little sympathetic here.
For starters, what if at the time our PLT patron uploaded herself on IG bar she was in the company of another patron whose display would cause massive heartache to other potentials who did weren’t spending their data on IG bar at the moment? Such images could have betrayed a lot.
Although she uploaded herself on the bar, perhaps she naively had no idea that a place where patrons happen and bleat excitedly like sheep returning from the fields at sunset would not care about her personal attachments.
Instagram needs to act fast and recruit mind readers who can tell that Patron A or B has just uploaded themselves on the bar in the company of people they don’t want to be seen with.
The mind readers can then immediately block all the other millions of patrons from sharing or even liking this patron’s photos to protect her image.
For now, we support this suit. PLT should not give Instagram breathing space until they cough for allowing all sorts of excitable things appearing in public in their lingerie to access the bar.
Instagram should lock out the brawny however glamorous their account might be, or whatever intention to spent on data.
Such glamour girls can stick to Yahoo! and Internet Explorer. Modern apps don’t suit them.